Mt Tam I am's Driving Journal

MightyBobo

Forgive my ignorance but you didnt specify: Im assuming they found the tumor in her brain?

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I don't own a car anymore.

Mt Tam I am

I spent today at the hospital and her eye has now swollen up like a prize fighter and the color is dark purple. She has a bit of a fever so ice has been used to cool her down. The ICU nurse, drives a 350Z and is a client of mine, has the ability to read Jays stare and guess what she wants. This means Jay is made more comfortable.

Jay recognizes me, held my hand, moved her legs, sat up in bed to rearrange herself so it is looking good. She still has a breathing tube and can't talk, and is wonderfully sedated.

The doctors words "She is rock solid"

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Mt Tam I am

My oversight. You are correct. Right behind her left eye. It is gone now though, so time for a speedy recovery.

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MightyBobo

I told me wife about your story, she's an RN. So if I understood correctly, you were having some marriage issues that were getting bad... And it seems the tumor was the likely culprit?

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Memphis370Z

Great news! Stay strong.

Just sent up a prayer of thanks for the both of y'all, the surgeon(s), and the hospital staff.

Mt Tam I am

It was for sure the tumor.

Her behavior was so opposite of herself coupled with normal behavior. Goto the store and buy half the things on the list, and say she'll go back later to get the rest. Not anything bad just not how she operates. Normally she buys everything until the car won't close, just to save gas. This is the sort of thing I could care less about. Just one of many micro changes.

Jay loves to hear about my day with details. As a guy, this is tough to do but I have learned to give her what she wants, and that is stories of my day. Not paying attention to all this effort upsets me. At the end of every long story she began to draw the opposite conclusion that could only mean she was not paying attention; except it was the tumor. I feel badly now for being terse with her.

The poor girl was trying so hard to please me but her brain was short circiting and she'd do the wrong thing.

In the final eve before we went to the hospital, I asked her how long ago was our first date? She replied 1.5 years, no wait 21 years. 21 is correct.

I looked at a list she wrote that said "Do ? for Carter. find out info abut guy he wants to know about." She knew it was something but I don't know what it's about. Nor do I care. She is getting all the help she needs. Another list said mail bills. I have about a dozen unpaid bills since January but spent a little time getting things paid for both of us. Monday I'll find out about three $5700 checks sent to me and where they went.

Humorously - I saw her doing laundry Saturday and by Tuesday I had no socks or underwear. I checked every drawer, the garbage, dishwasher, oven, and had to go buy new.

The house is so empty I can not explain. After the surgury it feels a little less so, but still a huge void.

Holy Smokes! Does this ever apply https://youtu.be/M53VOewqoaA

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blackcherry20

^^^^this x 2!!

Thx for keeping us updated Tam. God luv ya!!

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Grand Sport Corvette Arctic White

Mt Tam I am

Sorry for the lack of updates. I spend all the time I can with Jay.

Jay had the breathing tube removed Sunday and was so happy on the euphoric drug left over for 24 hours. But at 4AM she called to ask when I was returning. I am there every day at 5PM. She called again at 5:30AM. Where am I? She has wanted to go home ever since. She does not know where she is or why she is there regardless of how many times it is said. Her short term memory is effected.

When I won't take her home she hates me, and I should leave, and then she calls me at home to tell me she loves me. This is hard on me. It must be like telling your child "NO".

She is a candidate for acute rehabilitation which is good. This would mean an additional 3 weeks in another hospital. 3 firms are competing for her business and I will choose the best one. The reading of this material would always be Jays job to read.

Jay left intensive care for half a day but was returned after a CT scan showed a problem with spamming blood vessels. This required raising of her blood pressure. If we averaged our two BP's together, I'm sure it would need lowering. :nod:

Thanks for all the flowers. They keep trying to get me to take them home so I can enjoy them. I refuse and tell the nurses to enjoy them until she gets out of ICU*, hopefully today. The nurses say it is like a jungle in the lounge. Thank you again. I have some lovely support in this world.

Last night after 10PM she called me and we spoke for a whole hour. I am not a therapist but I tried to get her to think. Talking about her last days out and about. She remembered falling down at her house and I told her this is connected to being in the hospital now. Then I mentioned she fell at my shop off a chair. She then addd she fell again at the door. HOORAY. this is correct. Jay has a recovery ahead but my non expert opinion is that she can, and will come back.

*No flowers in ICU.

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onzedge

Hang in there, man. I am free today if you want to talk.

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Rusty

Carter, Jay has a long road in front of her. She will need your susport and understanding. She will have good days and bad days. Don't show her your downside. Watch the tone of your voice. Always keep a smile on your face. You have to be her cheerleader. She will pick up on the little things you do. It's going to be tough. But the end result will be well worth it. This is what I had to do when my first wife went through cancer. Hang in there buddy, we all, are behind you. If you need to talk, pm me your number and we'll go from there.

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"The Difficult Anytime, The Impossible By Appointment Only"
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blackcherry20

You are doing fine Tam. Just keep doing what you are and you will get through.

Trust me...you cannot falter. No deep thinking for you just focus on taking care of her and you will both emerge ok. You can do this. If I can do it, anybody can so put your head down and charge through.

[{hugs}].

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Grand Sport Corvette Arctic White

Memphis370Z

That's it right there. She can and she will come back. So glad that you're there for her. All in all, when you and Jay get through this, you'll be closer and stronger, both as individuals and as a couple. Again, keep your chin up and a smile on your face.

Thanks so much for the update. Y'all have been in my daily prayers.

Mt Tam I am

Jay left the ICU for 12 hours then has returned since. She is out of the woods regarding death. Now it is a brain injury that is getting better every day, with miles left to go.

I am exhausted myself. I finally got to bed at 9 PM instead of midnight to 2 AM. I fell asleep to Star Trek, and Jays mom called for an update. Within an hour Jay called because she couldn't wait till her 8am wake up call to me. She can tell time again and I gave her the wake up call job. I slept till the 7am wake up call because she couldn't wait any longer to speak with me. Cool beans, except I could have used that hour.

She gets agitated about being trapped at the hospital and wants to leave, who wouldn't. The nurses recognize I am the only one who can calm her down so they call me and ask me to talk her down. It is wonderful to help and I was asked if I am a caregiver as I seem so comfortable handling fluids and unthreading her seemingly endless tubing. I laughed and told her I am a coin dealer. Whatever I am doing is just common sense. I don't dispense drugs or technical things but giving her full support as she walks or making sure the chair is in place before she sits down etc. This is not the brain surgery portion.

We are going to get through this.

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Memphis370Z

Yes. Yes y'all will. So glad that things are getting incrementally better for the both of you.

Please keep us updated when time allows. I know sleep is scarce and at a premium. Take care of yourself, Carter, and hang in there.

Mt Tam I am

Great news :

After 2 weeks in intensive care, ICU, Jay is medically stable. This means she can survive with out being plugged in to the wall. Just electronically operated drips but no more. Her balance is much better and she is heading into 3 weeks of hospital rehabilitation today.

She had a small seizure that left her super mellow like sedation. They upped her dose to prevent this. This delayed her departure one day.

Bad news:

They determined Jay had a cancerous tumor. She will start radiation in about a month. The only good news really is that Jay does not understand or remember what the doctor said so she is unworried. The radiation will rattle her brain a little bit more which just kills me. We have worked so hard to get her memories back and reason better.

Onward.

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Nissan Motorsports 34R Oil Cooler. Stillen CBE. Hotchkis Sport Sway Bars. KW Variant 3 Coilover System. Stillen Gen3 CAI. Michelin Pilot Super Sport. Stillen Brake Ducts. Carbotech™ XP10/XP8 Pads. Z1 Front Rotors. Z1 Stainless Brake Lines. Two degrees of camber