Joke of the Day

Ish

While I have some free time...:

A woman goes to the doctor, beaten black and blue.

Doctor: "What happened?"

Woman: "Doctor, I don't know what to do. Every time my husband comes home drunk he beats me to a pulp."

Doctor: "I have a real good medicine for that. When your husband comes Home drunk, just take a glass of sweet tea and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don't swallow until he goes to bed and is a sleep."

Two weeks later the woman comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn

Woman: "Doctor, that was a brilliant idea!
Every time my husband came home drunk, I swished with sweet tea. I swished and swished, and he didn't touch me!"

Doctor: "You see how much keeping your mouth shut helps?"



A truck driver sees a girl about to jump off a bridge; so he stops.

"What are you doing?" he says.

"I'm trying to commit suicide," she says.

"Well, since you're about to die, before you jump, would you give me a blow job."
So, she does.

After she's finished, the trucker says, "Wow! That's a wasted talent.
Why are you committing suicide?"

"My parents don't like me dressing up like a girl."

Why do African Baboons paint their nuts red?













So they can hide in the cherry trees.

So whats the loudest sound in the jungle?











Giraffes eating cherries.