Originally Posted by onzedge
(Post 1737480)
I am not sure how much will-power came into play in my case. I had a simple choice to make back then -- continue on my path and "live" maybe another year, or get sober and try to fix the train wreck my life had become. It's hard to explain, but in a flash, I knew I had to try the latter. Perhaps it was willpower at first, perhaps it was divine inspiration -- I don't know.
I have been doing this a while and I am around a great many different kind of people -- sober, not sober, trying to get and stay sober -- lots of folks. Some people wonder if they have an issue with it and the simple answer is this: only each individual can make that determination. Most believe that you need to hit a bottom of some kind before you will make the effort and for each person that bottom is different. For some it's a DUI, a divorce, loss of a job, friends' nagging or whatever.
I think back to what it was like for me and it was what you could call a living hell. You can’t quit and you can’t keep going. Slowing down meant seizures and trips to the ER due to withdrawal and continuing meant another step closer to doom. Whenever I feel a little sorry for myself nowadays, I take a breath and remember where I was and suddenly today’s issues seem a little insignificant. I am smiling right now as I write this because it is making me remember that each day in the last almost 12 years is a freebie and I have done a great deal with them.
I began this new chapter in my life with a huge mess and it would have been easier to chuck it in. I had 2 suspensions on my driver’s license, no car anyway (except for a non-running 240z stashed at a storage yard), a no-bail warrant for my arrest, no job, all my stuff crammed in a 10 X 10 storage unit that I prepaid for 3 months, no friends, an alienated family and kids, literally 6 dollars in cash plus a change jar, tens of thousands worth of debt and no permanent place to live. Despite all that, I knew it was worth doing what I am still doing.
Today, I have an excellent credit rating, I owe no one (except a small amount on the mortgage, a decent job that pays well for some reason, nice side work teaching, nice cars, my kids who are my friends, and not too much BS in most parts of my life. Maybe most importantly is that I am married to a wonderful, smart woman who knows all about me and loves me anyway.
I apologize if this is too personal or too much off-topic. I have no clue why I even started this. But if you read it, thanks. You are all pretty great guys and gals.
Oh yeah, I pushed the heck out of my Z on the way home from the office today – always within posted speed limits, of course. The Super Sports do love their exercise sessions.
Have a great day everyone and it you are travelling this weekend – watch out for the idiots and don’t be one of them.
onzedge has written
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