F*** My Life

simota1

haha togo my man... my life i think is a comedy....

here is another one...

OK so this is recent ok... i was waiting for these sneakers to come out... they came out got the last shoe size!!! was happy me my gf and a couple of friends went out... i wore those same sneakers when i went out got over happy got drunk and plastered... while im completely disoriented and barfing everywhere... my gf says ill just sneak u in my house and u can sleep over... me drunk says yah sure i cant drive home anymore anyways... so there i am... in her room vomiting in a bag cuz i cant go to the bathroom cuz the dad dont know im there... i fall asleep wake up super early in the morning feeling like i have to take a crap like super bad... try and hold it till i ended up ******** in the same bag i was barfing in... yes yes i know very disgusting u have no idea how grossed out i was... so now im completely humilated and wanna go home i tell my gf im going home... shes mad that i **** in a bag and we argue and stuff.... so shes like go and leave... and bring ur sick *** **** bag with u.... the only way to leave is jump out of the window... the catch is... shes on the second floor of a condo... so u have to hang out of the balcony then jump down... so here i am argueing fighting with her i throw the bag of crap acting like im all badass... hang on the balcony.... and then let go... not looking where i landed... it just so happened i landed on that same bag of crap.... and it exploded on my leg and new sneakers... had to drive home with barf and crap on shoes and shorts.... FML...

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