Over 30 and still single, post here.

Chuck33079 · 01-09-2014, 01:19 PM

Might as well. What's the worst that could happen?

DIGItonium · 01-09-2014, 01:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chuck33079

Might as well. What's the worst that could happen?

That's true. So this sounds like a test: Approaching her when she's surrounded and figure out how to avoid getting FZ'd.

Cmike2780 · 01-09-2014, 01:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DIGItonium

[shrugs] I'm assuming she's going to be surrounded and see how I'd handle it if I'm there? I might gather up some good wingmen. Another challenge, indeed. Haha.

Hell yeah you go, but you're missing the point here. You don't need to over think it. She asked YOU out and will likely go as a pair correct? She's giving you another shot. Skating pretty close to friend-zone territory though if you don't make a move.

Chuck33079 · 01-09-2014, 01:27 PM

Dude, getting friendzoned isn't like stepping in a puddle walking down the street. It doesn't just happen because you're not paying attention. Just make your intentions clear. If you want to date her, make sure you get that point across. If you want to go to the club with her, go. If not, don't. Go have some drinks and dance with her. It's not a test to see how you deal with her being surrounded.

She's just a chick. She's not setting up tests or challenges to see if you pass, she wants to go dancing. You're not being evaluated any more than you're evaluating her. I think a lot of people's problems with women come from dramatically overthinking things.

Chuck33079 · 01-09-2014, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cmike2780

Hell yeah you go, but you're missing the point here. You don't need to over think it. She asked YOU out and will likely go as a pair correct? She's giving you another shot. Skating pretty close to friend-zone territory though if you don't make a move.

We were typing pretty much the same thing at the same time.

To expand- getting friendzoned is not something that happens as a result of your actions. It's a result of inaction. If you go out with her again, kiss her. It's that simple.

DIGItonium · 01-09-2014, 01:51 PM

No, I believe we're meeting up since it was a general "Are you going to be there?"

You're right, the over thinking and putting her on the pedestal mentality is bad. That's not my intention. My nerves are calm now... just figuring out the correct approach and not make the same mistakes.

Misnomer · 01-09-2014, 03:08 PM

I hope you guys don't mind me jumping in: I'm relatively new to the forum and just discovered this thread. I've read the whole thing, though, and am pulling for ya DIGI!

I'm 42 and single, and I'm also a chick...a fat chick who is picky and old (in dating years). Women can be one or two of those things, but not all three.

(I look 30 and am cute enough to still get laid if/when I want to, so I'm really not complaining. As others have mentioned, there are lots of great things about being single with no kids. Having a Z as my daily driver is one of them.

Sure in a perfect world I'd prefer not to be alone, but for the most part I like my life. I'm also not trying very hard to meet anyone right now: e.g., I have an OKCupid profile, but I hardly ever go to the site.)

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cmike2780

Absolutely no going to the movies! Even if she loves movies and suggest it, say no. It's the absolute worst place to get to know someone.

I hear this all the time, but I don't necessarily agree: the key is to see the movie before you go for dinner/coffee, so that you can talk about it. Having a movie to discuss can be a great way to break the ice with someone new and get the conversational ball rolling, plus sometimes you can discover a lot about people based on how they react to stuff in movies.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cmike2780

Women want something planned, not having to plan something....especially on the first date.

Girls might prefer that, but women don't mind pulling their weight/having some input.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chuck33079

Most guys get friendzoned because they're wishy-washy about their intentions. If there is a second date of any type, kiss her. If she doesn't go for it, she's gone.

Truth.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chuck33079

I think a lot of people's problems with women come from dramatically overthinking things.

More truth.

Chuck33079 · 01-09-2014, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DIGItonium

No, I believe we're meeting up since it was a general "Are you going to be there?"

You're right, the over thinking and putting her on the pedestal mentality is bad. That's not my intention. My nerves are calm now... just figuring out the correct approach and not make the same mistakes.

Just do whatever you want to do. If you feel like going to a club, go. Personally, I despise clubs. In your situation, I would get some buddies and go to an acceptable bar close to the club she's going to. That way, you can avoid the club but still tell her "I'm right around the corner at X. Come have a drink with me before/after you go to the club".

You've hedged your bet for a good night. If she shows up, great. If not, you're at a bar with some buddies shooting the ****. Also, you've made her come to you. That will show you if she's interested or not. If she can't be bothered, That tells you something.

Chuck33079 · 01-09-2014, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Misnomer

I hope you guys don't mind me jumping in: I'm relatively new to the forum and just discovered this thread. I've read the whole thing, though, and am pulling for ya DIGI!

The more female input in here the better as far as I'm concerned.

Cmike2780 · 01-09-2014, 04:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Misnomer

I hear this all the time, but I don't necessarily agree: the key is to see the movie before you go for dinner/coffee, so that you can talk about it. Having a movie to discuss can be a great way to break the ice with someone new and get the conversational ball rolling, plus sometimes you can discover a lot about people based on how they react to stuff in movies..

Although I see your point, I'm gonna disagree only because that's never the case unless you're still in high school. A movie you both just saw is never a great ice breaker. You spent 2 hours just watching it, no one really wants to talk about it right after seeing it. It's boring conversation just thinking about it. This is why something like an art gallery or another activity is so much better. You talk while doing said activity. If women could imagine a perfect date, I seriously doubt going to the movies on the first date is one of them. Sure there are exceptions, but they're exceptions for a reason. I'd be creeped out if you were staring at me and watching my reactions during a movie on a first date.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Misnomer

Girls might prefer that, but women don't mind pulling their weight/having some input.

.

Gonna kinda disagree on this one too. It's not about pulling your weight, it's about taking the initiative. It's totally normal when you're IN a relationship, but makes the guy look weak and unorganized when you're still just dating. The mindset of girls and women are one and the same. Wiser, yes, but the same nevertheless

XiP · 01-09-2014, 04:30 PM

I went to see a movie with a girl once... afterwards I was going through a list of scientific inaccuracies I saw in the movie and she looked the other way and made a barfing action and asked me to take her home.

Chuck33079 · 01-09-2014, 04:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by XiP

I went to see a movie with a girl once... afterwards I was going through a list of scientific inaccuracies I saw in the movie and she looked the other way and made a barfing action and asked me to take her home.

So you don't need us to tell you where you went wrong with that one, right?

XiP · 01-09-2014, 04:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chuck33079

So you don't need us to tell you where you went wrong with that one, right?

No, lesson learned lol

Just sayin though... talking about a movie after you just see it is probably a bad idea even if you have positive things to say

ElVee · 01-09-2014, 04:39 PM

lol @ XiP

I do like the idea of doing something after the movie to talk about it, or whatever. It's always a sort of downer to go to a movie, then sludge on out knowing you're just going to get into a car and go home or something. <--I think that is the main point about not doing a movie. That and the fact you're going to be together for 1.5-2 hours and not really say anything and instead just consume something being thrown into your eye holes.

Better yet, go to a place where you get beer/food and a movie. Or, when you're up to it, watch one at home where you can talk all you want. (Just don't keep talking if you're with someone who hates talking through the show!)

At any rate, for conversation after the movie, you better be prepared to have some conversation, though! Better/worse options, more than just a "this sucked" response...

Chuck33079 · 01-09-2014, 04:43 PM

I've had some good luck starting at a bar and going to a movie afterward. My favorite dates were the ones where we asked the box office which POS movie hadn't sold any tickets and we go make fun of it the whole time with no one to be bothered by the fact we're laughing like jackasses. You might want to sneak in a flask for that.

01-09-2014, 01:19 PM	#211 (permalink)
Chuck33079 A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Houston Posts: 12,265 Drives: 2011 370ztt Rep Power: 29538	Might as well. What's the worst that could happen? __________________ 2011 MB Touring-Sport-6sp-Nav/GTM TT/FI TT TDX/JTran/Kosmic/Eibach/Hotchkis/SPC/CSF/RPS/SoThatsWhereAllMyMoneyWent

01-09-2014, 01:27 PM	#214 (permalink)
Chuck33079 A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Houston Posts: 12,265 Drives: 2011 370ztt Rep Power: 29538	Dude, getting friendzoned isn't like stepping in a puddle walking down the street. It doesn't just happen because you're not paying attention. Just make your intentions clear. If you want to date her, make sure you get that point across. If you want to go to the club with her, go. If not, don't. Go have some drinks and dance with her. It's not a test to see how you deal with her being surrounded. She's just a chick. She's not setting up tests or challenges to see if you pass, she wants to go dancing. You're not being evaluated any more than you're evaluating her. I think a lot of people's problems with women come from dramatically overthinking things. Cmike2780, XiP and Ghostvette like this. __________________ 2011 MB Touring-Sport-6sp-Nav/GTM TT/FI TT TDX/JTran/Kosmic/Eibach/Hotchkis/SPC/CSF/RPS/SoThatsWhereAllMyMoneyWent

01-09-2014, 01:51 PM	#216 (permalink)
DIGItonium A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Kansas Posts: 3,800 Drives: 09 Z34-TT 6MT Rep Power: 42	No, I believe we're meeting up since it was a general "Are you going to be there?" You're right, the over thinking and putting her on the pedestal mentality is bad. That's not my intention. My nerves are calm now... just figuring out the correct approach and not make the same mistakes. __________________

01-09-2014, 04:30 PM	#221 (permalink)
XiP A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Dec 2011 Location: no clipping Posts: 11,096 Drives: ↑ ↓ Rep Power: 533	I went to see a movie with a girl once... afterwards I was going through a list of scientific inaccuracies I saw in the movie and she looked the other way and made a barfing action and asked me to take her home. DIGItonium likes this. __________________ I <3 Frost!!!

01-09-2014, 04:43 PM	#225 (permalink)
Chuck33079 A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Houston Posts: 12,265 Drives: 2011 370ztt Rep Power: 29538	I've had some good luck starting at a bar and going to a movie afterward. My favorite dates were the ones where we asked the box office which POS movie hadn't sold any tickets and we go make fun of it the whole time with no one to be bothered by the fact we're laughing like jackasses. You might want to sneak in a flask for that. __________________ 2011 MB Touring-Sport-6sp-Nav/GTM TT/FI TT TDX/JTran/Kosmic/Eibach/Hotchkis/SPC/CSF/RPS/SoThatsWhereAllMyMoneyWent

01-09-2014, 04:39 PM	#224 (permalink)
ElVee Track Member Join Date: Mar 2013 Location: Iowa Posts: 750 Drives: 13 370z 7at t+s grey Rep Power: 16	lol @ XiP I do like the idea of doing something after the movie to talk about it, or whatever. It's always a sort of downer to go to a movie, then sludge on out knowing you're just going to get into a car and go home or something. <--I think that is the main point about not doing a movie. That and the fact you're going to be together for 1.5-2 hours and not really say anything and instead just consume something being thrown into your eye holes. Better yet, go to a place where you get beer/food and a movie. Or, when you're up to it, watch one at home where you can talk all you want. (Just don't keep talking if you're with someone who hates talking through the show!) At any rate, for conversation after the movie, you better be prepared to have some conversation, though! Better/worse options, more than just a "this sucked" response...

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