Over 30 and still single, post here.

kenchan · 11-04-2013, 10:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElVee

Since I butted into this thread, let me justify it.

I'm about 35 (beyond 30 it's a math effort to know my age) and single myself. Quite enjoying the life. Have friends with families and you can see the envy on their face when you get to enjoy your freedom!

and that's all fine too.

one of my closest buddies is single (40's) and he's like an uncle to my kids.

to me he seems to be enjoying his life.

Chuck33079 · 11-04-2013, 10:33 AM

You guys are also "asking for help" from women at the supermarket, right? This works across all ages, but is especially potent for cougar hunting. Breaks the ice and shows them you're willing to cook.

Haboob · 11-04-2013, 10:39 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chuck33079

You guys are also "asking for help" from women at the supermarket, right? This works across all ages, but is especially potent for cougar hunting. Breaks the ice and shows them you're willing to cook.

No, but that's because I haven't been to a grocery store in... 4 months? I don't cook, because I don't want to clean (not that I won't clean).

Though this tactic may work better if I lived in a younger part of town - my mistake and I have to wait until home values come up so I can break even and sell my house.

Chuck33079 · 11-04-2013, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Haboob

No, but that's because I haven't been to a grocery store in... 4 months? I don't cook, because I don't want to clean (not that I won't clean).

Dude, learn to cook three meals. It'll go a long way. You don't have to be Emeril, just know a few dishes. Date one- coffee or drinks at a place you're a regular at. Date two, moderately priced dinner out. Date three, you cook.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Haboob

Though this tactic may work better if I lived in a younger part of town - my mistake and I have to wait until home values come up so I can break even and sell my house.

Nothing says you have to shop near home. Yuppie grocery stores work best.

DIGItonium · 11-04-2013, 12:17 PM

Haha... one of my friends met and married someone on eHarmony. I don't think it's something I'd like to do. A coworker plays with dating apps and has gone on several dates. He's 38 and thinks marriage is overrated, so he has absolutely no plans to settle with anyone.

Z-Girl 12 · 11-04-2013, 01:28 PM

I'm butting in this conversation...I'm 36, single and very happy. No hurry for a relationship. Enjoy being single while you can!

DIGItonium · 11-04-2013, 01:44 PM

I used this recipe below:
Slow Cooker Meaty Italian Spaghetti Sauce recipe from Betty Crocker

Makes awesome marinara meat sauce. Yum! I've treated several girls to dinner at my place with it.

Another idea... grilling!

Chuck33079 · 11-04-2013, 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DIGItonium

I used this recipe below:
Slow Cooker Meaty Italian Spaghetti Sauce recipe from Betty Crocker

Makes awesome marinara meat sauce. Yum! I've treated several girls to dinner at my place with it.

Another idea... grilling!

Recipe stolen.

Grilling works too. Plus, it lets you weed out any vegitarians or vegans.

Haboob · 11-04-2013, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElVee

Not to pile on, but definitely cook something. You don't need to be good at it or have a huge variety, but there are some good reasons to keep at it (note: I need to lecture myself on this, as I can always cook more as well):

- You'll naturally acquire the kitchen tools and misc ingredients (spices, sugar, etc) you need so you're not SOL when you do have a girl over and she wants a snack or it's for a meal. You'll also know your way around your own kitchen.
- It's healthier, generally.
- Learn just a few main dishes and maybe just pick up a few tools and learn how to really use them for multiple things (grill, indoor grill, wok, slow cooker, souls vide, blender, steamer, etc). You don't need to know how to make 30 things for month-long-variety. Just enough to build upon it.
- Always have some go-to things to cook for breakfast, even things as simple as bacon, eggs, and english muffins/bread. This is especially important if anyone ever stays the night, even one-nighters. Being provided a breakfast before being booted out the door is the difference between a good experience and a bad one. Pancakes, eggs, bacon, oatmeal, fresh fruit, or whatever. If you're making it before she's up and she smells it: bonus points. Served in bed? Creep points until it's a serious relationship.

- Tons of youtube vids are available for people learning to cook of all levels. I absolutely love learning something new and simple via youtube.
- Simple cookbooks are always discounted at book stores like Barnes & Noble; college cookbooks, 3-5 ingredient stuff, pictures, you name it.

Even if you don't cook for someone else, cook for yourself for overall health and happiness. I prefer to strive for a nice mix of going out, take-out, and cooking. Lately, I've been failing on the cooking...must improve!

I just don't know that I have the patience to cook. Possibly due to me waiting until the last minute when I'm starving to even think about eating.

I'm a wreck, I know. And being a picky eater is tough too, and embarrassing, but there's nothing I can do to change it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chuck33079

Recipe stolen.

Grilling works too. Plus, it lets you weed out any vegitarians or vegans.

I can grill, I don't often, but I have in the past.

Joepro · 11-04-2013, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DIGItonium

I used this recipe below:
Slow Cooker Meaty Italian Spaghetti Sauce recipe from Betty Crocker

Makes awesome marinara meat sauce. Yum! I've treated several girls to dinner at my place with it.

Another idea... grilling!

Grilling is my forte, learn to grill veggies, it is easy, and some Italian dishes, homemade sauce is easier than people think, but seriously, crock pot meals are not only tasty but take no effort. Get one.

Im not quite at the 30 year old mark, got burnt a few years back so I said screw women, I like the single life, sure its lonely sometimes, but I have my Z, I have my guns, I have my freedom...PA is a horrible state for everything, after my Z is boosted I am moving south, and will get myself in better shape and hope to settle downish around 35 years old... Women hate me anyway, Im tallish and fat, what can I say, I love food, bu really a nice guy, Im the literal mean of nice guys finish last, unless Im racing a civic

saber · 11-04-2013, 02:07 PM

I am one of the few idiots who still talks to his ex.

Then again, we were best friends for years, then tried to go out. It failed miserably, spent the better part of the year away from each other, and only recently started to try and repair things mutually.

Weirdly enough, she is now actively pushing me along and talking to me a lot about the dates I've gone on since.

Again...weird.

TXSpeedDemon · 11-04-2013, 02:22 PM

Speaking as a man who was single from 28-35 all I have to say is:

You guys worried about being single in your 30s don't know how good you've got it!

Think about it. In your 30s you are likely stable in your career or profession. Financially stable enough to get the things you need but not waste time on things you just "want". You're still young enough to be extremely physically fit with only 6 months to 1 year of dedicated working out. You're experienced enough to know how to treat a woman right, how not to embarrass her in front of her fiends, when to back off and when to stand your ground. And you're at a point where you don't have to waste your time chasing tail that you don't really want - unless good tail is all you want.

For the first time in your life you have all the power. You are the ones being sought after and are in a position to make all the choices. You have older post-divorce women available to you, and younger women looking for a good husband in an ever shrinking field of eligible bachelors. Now is the time to flip the script, make the women work for you. Have them convince you why you should go out with them, not the other way around as it has been the previous 30 years. This works. You know why? Cause all of the above is true AND women want what they can't have. If you don't just give yourself to them like every other guy does they begin to wonder why. And they start chasing after you.

So go out, have fun, date and do your thing. Live you life the way you want to and don't settle. When you're ready, find the right person for you.

Speaking of that, as the former creative director for Match.com north america (and Chemistry.com) I can tell you that online dating does work. But you have to think of it like a big bar. There are all sorts of people you could meet there. Some are there looking for a free meal, some a good time and some a long term partner. No matter what you are looking for there are a ton of potentials for you there.

Some pointers for the single over 30 online daters out there:
- the highest rated test profile picture for men over 30 was an upper body, smiling with a pet picture. Dogs rated highest, cats next, then farm animals and reptiles last.
- Men over 30 shouldn't have any shirtless pictures. This was deemed immature by women seeking men over 30
- Your profile write up should be short and sweet. Turns out most people don't read profiles looking for commonalities. Instead they look through profiles for anything that could be used to EXCLUDE someone as a potential partner. With such a large group of options it's easy to pass on someone and move on the the next one. So keep your written profile short and sweet to limit the opportunities for exclusion.
- Women get thousands of emails their first week on a site like Match, and hundreds pretty much every week after. Yours needs to stand out. You can't just compliment a woman anymore. What I liked to do was send a girl a note inviting them to play a game of "2 truths and a lie" I would tell them three things about myself and one would be false. They could pretty much guess the answers by reading my profile. This gave them an opportunity to learn about me and respond if interested. It helped weed out the girls who wouldn't be, and thus not waste my time, and put me in a good position to engage in future conversation. It also starts the mentality of them having to work for me, they have to actively engage in conversation and actually read my profile to be able to have anything to say to me. This works about 90% of the time. Go ahead and try it.

And I am a testament to how well match.com works. I met my wife there and we've been together 3 years, married two, with a beautiful baby daughter. At the time we met she was a model and singer (work-safe pics in the Asian thread). She now owns her own boutique salon. So there are some smart and beautiful ones out there.

Best of luck to you all and remember this could be the best time of your life.

Haboob · 11-04-2013, 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TXSpeedDemon

Speaking as a man who was single from 28-35 all I have to say is:

You guys worried about being single in your 30s don't know how good you've got it!

Think about it. In your 30s you are likely stable in your career or profession. Financially stable enough to get the things you need but not waste time on things you just "want". You're still young enough to be extremely physically fit with only 6 months to 1 year of dedicated working out. You're experienced enough to know how to treat a woman right, how not to embarrass her in front of her fiends, when to back off and when to stand your ground. And you're at a point where you don't have to waste your time chasing tail that you don't really want - unless good tail is all you want.

For the first time in your life you have all the power. You are the ones being sought after and are in a position to make all the choices. You have older post-divorce women available to you, and younger women looking for a good husband in an ever shrinking field of eligible bachelors. Now is the time to flip the script, make the women work for you. Have them convince you why you should go out with them, not the other way around as it has been the previous 30 years. This works. You know why? Cause all of the above is true AND women want what they can't have. If you don't just give yourself to them like every other guy does they begin to wonder why. And they start chasing after you.

So go out, have fun, date and do your thing. Live you life the way you want to and don't settle. When you're ready, find the right person for you.

Speaking of that, as the former creative director for Match.com north america (and Chemistry.com) I can tell you that online dating does work. But you have to think of it like a big bar. There are all sorts of people you could meet there. Some are there looking for a free meal, some a good time and some a long term partner. No matter what you are looking for there are a ton of potentials for you there.

Some pointers for the single over 30 online daters out there:
- the highest rated test profile picture for men over 30 was an upper body, smiling with a pet picture. Dogs rated highest, cats next, then farm animals and reptiles last.
- Men over 30 shouldn't have any shirtless pictures. This was deemed immature by women seeking men over 30
- Your profile write up should be short and sweet. Turns out most people don't read profiles looking for commonalities. Instead they look through profiles for anything that could be used to EXCLUDE someone as a potential partner. With such a large group of options it's easy to pass on someone and move on the the next one. So keep your written profile short and sweet to limit the opportunities for exclusion.
- Women get thousands of emails their first week on a site like Match, and hundreds pretty much every week after. Yours needs to stand out. You can't just compliment a woman anymore. What I liked to do was send a girl a note inviting them to play a game of "2 truths and a lie" I would tell them three things about myself and one would be false. They could pretty much guess the answers by reading my profile. This gave them an opportunity to learn about me and respond if interested. It helped weed out the girls who wouldn't be, and thus not waste my time, and put me in a good position to engage in future conversation. It also starts the mentality of them having to work for me, they have to actively engage in conversation and actually read my profile to be able to have anything to say to me. This works about 90% of the time. Go ahead and try it.

And I am a testament to how well match.com works. I met my wife there and we've been together 3 years, married two, with a beautiful baby daughter. At the time we met she was a model and singer (work-safe pics in the Asian thread). She now owns her own boutique salon. So there are some smart and beautiful ones out there.

Best of luck to you all and remember this could be the best time of your life.

But, if you've been single your whole life it's different. I'm sick of being alone, I'm bored off of my *** anymore.

TXSpeedDemon · 11-04-2013, 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Haboob

But, if you've been single your whole life it's different. I'm sick of being alone, I'm bored off of my *** anymore.

Then do something about it. If what you have been doing your whole life isn't getting you the results you're looking for then change what you are doing. You can't expect a different result if you're only willing to put in the same effort.

If you are looking for dates and to get laid then go do it. Change your game. Instead of coffee or drinks but some effort into dinner. Bring her some flowers. Not something huge that she has to carry around all night, just a small hand held bundle that says you put in some extra effort 90% of other guys won't. Spend some time researching new restaurants in your area and take her to one. Or find a great one that not many people know about. Not someplace like Olive Garden - after you are married you'll have plenty of time for that. And no movie dates, ever. Again, once you have kids that is all you'll have time for.

Do you have a beater car? the first two dates drive that. Then bring out the Z on the 3rd. When the girl asks you if you got a new car you just tell them that you've always had it but only bring it out to people who deserve it. Immediately makes them feel special.

Plan out something to do that they like. Yeah it means you actually have to listen to what they say, and maybe spend a few hours doing something outside your comfort zone. But you'll put them in a position to enjoy what they are doing with someone they like, who they feel actually cares about making them happy.

And do some things for yourself. Not the best looking guy? hit the gym for 6 months. Not the most fashionable? Pick up a GQ and buy some new clothes. Don't have a killer place to bring girls home to? take some time to get your house in order so it feels like a place they could live - so you become something they can't live without.

Again, you just need to elevate your game and increase your effort if what you have been doing hasn't been working.

Joepro · 11-04-2013, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Haboob

But, if you've been single your whole life it's different. I'm sick of being alone, I'm bored off of my *** anymore.

Pen pals?

11-04-2013, 10:33 AM	#2 (permalink)
Chuck33079 A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Nov 2011 Location: Houston Posts: 12,265 Drives: 2011 370ztt Rep Power: 29539	You guys are also "asking for help" from women at the supermarket, right? This works across all ages, but is especially potent for cougar hunting. Breaks the ice and shows them you're willing to cook. Ghostvette likes this. __________________ 2011 MB Touring-Sport-6sp-Nav/GTM TT/FI TT TDX/JTran/Kosmic/Eibach/Hotchkis/SPC/CSF/RPS/SoThatsWhereAllMyMoneyWent

11-04-2013, 12:17 PM	#5 (permalink)
DIGItonium A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Kansas Posts: 3,800 Drives: 09 Z34-TT 6MT Rep Power: 43	Haha... one of my friends met and married someone on eHarmony. I don't think it's something I'd like to do. A coworker plays with dating apps and has gone on several dates. He's 38 and thinks marriage is overrated, so he has absolutely no plans to settle with anyone. __________________

11-04-2013, 01:28 PM	#6 (permalink)
Z-Girl 12 A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Florida Posts: 4,105 Drives: Spirited Rep Power: 11717	I'm butting in this conversation...I'm 36, single and very happy. No hurry for a relationship. Enjoy being single while you can! Chuck33079, blackcherry20 and Ghostvette like this. __________________ 2012 Z-SOLD 2014 Nismo #565 Fast Intentions CBE/HFC/Swift/SPC/RJM/H&R-15/20mm/Z1 CAI/Headers/Intake Manifold w/Uprev Tune 328.31whp/263.64tq

11-04-2013, 01:44 PM	#7 (permalink)
DIGItonium A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Kansas Posts: 3,800 Drives: 09 Z34-TT 6MT Rep Power: 43	I used this recipe below: Slow Cooker Meaty Italian Spaghetti Sauce recipe from Betty Crocker Makes awesome marinara meat sauce. Yum! I've treated several girls to dinner at my place with it. Another idea... grilling! __________________

11-04-2013, 02:07 PM	#11 (permalink)
saber chew chew chew Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: West Coast Posts: 1,430 Drives: WRX Rep Power: 26	I am one of the few idiots who still talks to his ex. Then again, we were best friends for years, then tried to go out. It failed miserably, spent the better part of the year away from each other, and only recently started to try and repair things mutually. Weirdly enough, she is now actively pushing me along and talking to me a lot about the dates I've gone on since. Again...weird. __________________ 魂の中にある一条の光を信じて

11-04-2013, 02:22 PM	#12 (permalink)
TXSpeedDemon Enthusiast Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: Texas Posts: 330 Drives: 370Z, MSP, R8, 335 Rep Power: 3372	Speaking as a man who was single from 28-35 all I have to say is: You guys worried about being single in your 30s don't know how good you've got it! Think about it. In your 30s you are likely stable in your career or profession. Financially stable enough to get the things you need but not waste time on things you just "want". You're still young enough to be extremely physically fit with only 6 months to 1 year of dedicated working out. You're experienced enough to know how to treat a woman right, how not to embarrass her in front of her fiends, when to back off and when to stand your ground. And you're at a point where you don't have to waste your time chasing tail that you don't really want - unless good tail is all you want. For the first time in your life you have all the power. You are the ones being sought after and are in a position to make all the choices. You have older post-divorce women available to you, and younger women looking for a good husband in an ever shrinking field of eligible bachelors. Now is the time to flip the script, make the women work for you. Have them convince you why you should go out with them, not the other way around as it has been the previous 30 years. This works. You know why? Cause all of the above is true AND women want what they can't have. If you don't just give yourself to them like every other guy does they begin to wonder why. And they start chasing after you. So go out, have fun, date and do your thing. Live you life the way you want to and don't settle. When you're ready, find the right person for you. Speaking of that, as the former creative director for Match.com north america (and Chemistry.com) I can tell you that online dating does work. But you have to think of it like a big bar. There are all sorts of people you could meet there. Some are there looking for a free meal, some a good time and some a long term partner. No matter what you are looking for there are a ton of potentials for you there. Some pointers for the single over 30 online daters out there: - the highest rated test profile picture for men over 30 was an upper body, smiling with a pet picture. Dogs rated highest, cats next, then farm animals and reptiles last. - Men over 30 shouldn't have any shirtless pictures. This was deemed immature by women seeking men over 30 - Your profile write up should be short and sweet. Turns out most people don't read profiles looking for commonalities. Instead they look through profiles for anything that could be used to EXCLUDE someone as a potential partner. With such a large group of options it's easy to pass on someone and move on the the next one. So keep your written profile short and sweet to limit the opportunities for exclusion. - Women get thousands of emails their first week on a site like Match, and hundreds pretty much every week after. Yours needs to stand out. You can't just compliment a woman anymore. What I liked to do was send a girl a note inviting them to play a game of "2 truths and a lie" I would tell them three things about myself and one would be false. They could pretty much guess the answers by reading my profile. This gave them an opportunity to learn about me and respond if interested. It helped weed out the girls who wouldn't be, and thus not waste my time, and put me in a good position to engage in future conversation. It also starts the mentality of them having to work for me, they have to actively engage in conversation and actually read my profile to be able to have anything to say to me. This works about 90% of the time. Go ahead and try it. And I am a testament to how well match.com works. I met my wife there and we've been together 3 years, married two, with a beautiful baby daughter. At the time we met she was a model and singer (work-safe pics in the Asian thread). She now owns her own boutique salon. So there are some smart and beautiful ones out there. Best of luck to you all and remember this could be the best time of your life. UNKNOWN_370, Haboob, ElVee and 1 others like this.

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