Losing your iPhone that has the reminder on it about getting your girl a gift.

macaroni and cheese is not a romantic dinner, as it turns out...

Needing condoms and not having any

Oprah Winfrey came on TV and ruing the mood

Padding on her bra.

Quoting "fight club" in her card.

Reenacting scenes from 9 1/2 weeks...

Saying "I love you" and getting "awww, that's sweet." as a reply.

:icon17:

Trying out sex toys for the first time and we experienced a malfunction which caused the paramedics to come to the house to free us from the trapeze in which we became hopelessly entangled...

...plus there were a half dozen gerbils running around

Unveiling your new idea for a sex act ... "The Fire Log"

...visiting a live sex show for the first time, but I got confused and took her to the Castro District in San Francisco to see something called "Fistings of Fury" that was enacted by an all-male cast...

walking out on your honey

X-rated vhs tapes

Zucchini present to the wife.

Alabama

Bismarck

California

Decatur

Endevour

Farragut

Gibraltar

HMS Hood

Icarus

USS John Paul Jones

Kentucky

USS Los Angeles

Mississippi

USS Nimitz

USS Oriskany

USS Pompano

USS Quaker City

USS Reagan

Santa Maria

USS Ticonderoga

USS Ulysses

USS Vincennes

USS Wasp

USS shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh :p (Super-secret stealth ship)