|
the cap from the aspirin bottle.
|
After swallowing a fist-full...
|
of mushrooms, I slowly began to
|
realize that my face was still ....
|
apparently melting.
|
Frequently I like to...
|
Cross dress at night so I can
|
admire myself in the mirror while
|
applying my garish makeup.
|
When I see a woman in stockings,
|
I immediately think back to
|
the first time I slowly slid my hand up a woman's skirt and felt a garter strap.
|
As I began to chew, I immediately...
|
realized that what I thought was Kung Pao Chicken was really
|
on an area that my buddies warned me never to chew on.
|
It always amazes me when I see
|
two girls together with
|
an older man,
|
who is intermittently falling asleep.
|
When I first saw her naked, my first thought was
|
to run, but as I headed for the door, I ...
|
tripped over her
|
oversized lunchbox.
|
As things settled down later in our relationship,
|
I finally began to realize...
|
that she was truly
|
trying to kill me because of...
|
my previous comments about her bad table manners.
|
As I was sitting on the toilet, my...
|
my thoughts turned to
|
the single sheet of paper hanging on the roll
|
I am not a big people fan, mainly due to
|
an unfortunate incident with my first 300 lb girlfriend who...
|
always thought she was a size 6 when she purchased yoga pants.
|
I remember back...
|
when parents took an interest in
|
communicating directly to their kids, instead of
|
relying on social media to do their jobs.
|
Quote:
|
As it got later in the evening....
|
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