How about this:

BOY: Hello ms are you lost?
Girl: Why?
Boy: Because my name is FOUND.

CORNY!!!

Ok how about this one for size:

Boy: Excuse me Ms are you kinda a KLEPTOMANIAC?
Girl: Huh??? why?
Boy: Because you just STOLE my Heart.

Do you F@#k, S@#k take it up the A$$ or am I wasting my time with a Jesus Freak?

:icon18: Just ask if she wants to F**K instead of going throw all that. You might get slaped or most would be shocked to hear that.

I was on my way to pee, and then I saw you on the way to the can, and my erection made it hard to pee.

"Did it hurt"

"Did what hurt"

"When you fell from heaven did it hurt"

You have really nice skin.

I wanna wear you like a mask.

ummm ... What's the opposite of "you're on a roll" ... :ugh2:

Gee, thanks dad. I need your validation for what is and isn't funny :ugh2: gfy

^^ You put yourself on the stage you gotta take the jeers with the cheers.

:tiphat:

Doesn't mean I can't jab back, sweetie

Consider me jabbed :tup:

Damn girl, you have more curves than a race track.

:icon18: Might get slapped for that one.

I'll take this one rather than this "you have more curves than a michellin tyre!
Then Duck!:tup:

no thats not calling her fat, but saying your as big as a race track would get you slapped. :rofl2:

all though I think pick up lines are corny and get you no where::


one of my all time favs LOL: "Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours."

" How about you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?"

:tup: :iagree:

:icon18: :iagree: Love it

The few may be 2-10% of women out there that may be sincere and caring throught their whole life, would probalby be the really religious ones or the ugly or fat ones.

But who really wants these types women , unless your into the fat/ugly thing.

The simple facts or phases of most relationships are I Love you, I do, I hate you, I'll take you for everthing you own.

Even relationships that start out sincere, tend to reach the point when , you look at you fat *** or ugly spouse and say " OH MY GOD WHAT HAVE I DONE"

Practice the 4 F's and be happy thru out your whole life and don't be discouraged by the heat you get from family or friends that will tell you need to get married and have a family to be happy.

The real reason they tell you this is really because they are jealous and envy you, they want you to become like them and share in their misery.

No better revenge then going to family or social functions with a new younger hot girl at your side and seeing all the fat cows talking behind your back about you and your latest girl. The old cows hate you and the men wish they were you !

Hahaha


If I flip a coin, what are the chances of me getting head?

+1...... :iagree: Sometimes one falls for a really hot woman & then gets stuck like a mofo.

Uhhhh........ 50/50. Hell maybe you could get both.

Even with the good looking ones you have to always think with your brain and not your crotch.

You have to prepare for the worst and expect the best, so always play things cool, once you tell you love them, they'll do almost anything to trap you.

When it comes time for a ring or gifts over a $100 its time to move on, 1 yr per bitch is enough.

You can truly see what type of predators, most women are. A lot of the time you will also see these devoted mothers, turn on their own kids once the child support runs out or the well runs dry.

The best weapon you can use against a women is their own emotions, knowing that women base most of their decisions in life based on emotional BS. Compared to men that make decisons based on logic, you can easily turn the tables on them and gain he upper hand in the relationship.

Remember RED FOX- said it best, when a $100 whore in vegas would give him the best time in this life and RED replied for $0.99 I can go down to the drugstore and by a bottle of lotion and get the same results.

So how much power or value really is there in that greasy slit.

greasy? geez man its supposed to be moist...:stirthepot: don't get me wrong but you sound bitter... you need some sweet pacalolo to mellow you out. Not everybody is trying to "rob" you.

Not bitter ! - Just the cold hard facts of life, as you get older you tend to see things for what they really are. When things are broken down to the bare elements, people aren't much different than, wild animals in behavior and nature. Survival of the fittest or dog eat dog.

The saying goes P???Y is nothing but slick and slime, keep a mans blank wet and all in prime and if you miss that greasy slit , you will wind up with a ton of s??t

I like a lot of these lol.

Try using them lol. :tup:

50/50

what are you trying to set him up for failure?>:bowrofl:

Try some poetry: I love you in leather, I love you in lace, I'll you forever if you sit on my face !

What are your thoughts on anal girl? Cause I can definitely see myself in you cANAL!


ThePhotographer

LOL, only as a joke, to get her to laugh, not ever being serious!!!! :roflpuke2:

Thats the point of them these days, to be corny and get her to laugh, not to be taken seriously. If I tried these on strangers I would get slapped so much my face would look like a baboons *** lol! :icon23:

true thats why this is only good for laughs or nerds who cant get laid and are desperate for options. :bowrofl:

I know milk does a body good, but damn girl, how much are you drinking?

Are those space pants? Because your a** is out of this world.

:tup:

Going back and reading them all again this one is the one that makes me laugh the most lol! :rofl2:

I offer the gay perspective;

"hey I'm gay, and I've never had sex with a girl you seem really nice, and well ... I don't know it might be fun?"


ThePhotographer

:icon18::bowrofl:

works you have to look the part though you know long hair, beaky nose, or a well dressed feminine voiced manicured guy.:roflpuke2: