How to NOT drive your Z

[vipor]

From my hero, Tucker Max:

The Tucker Max Drunk Scale
When describing how drunk I get, I use my own scale that my friends and I devised:

"Buzzed" is after a few beers, when I can feel the alcohol affecting me, but I think I can still drive reasonably well. My brain generally works like normal, though perhaps a little slow.

"Inebriated" is when I start feeling good, but I know my ability to drive is impaired, and so I give the keys away. I begin to doubt my ability to make good judgments. I am usually a much nicer person at this stage of drunkenness, though this changes quickly.

"Drunk" is when I start feeling overly confident about myself and all of my abilities, I argue about who drives, but eventually give the keys up anyway. Other people begin to seem much funnier and more interesting. This is also when the ability to socialize in an appropriate manner starts breaking down.

"******-in-half" (aka "****-housed") is when I believe that my abilities have become nearly superhuman, that I am the best looking man in my geographical area, and that that hunchback girl over by the bar is really hot too. As far as I am concerned, there is no road, policeman, or possibly even army, that can contain me. It is at this point that I cannot differentiate between an appropriate comment and an inappropriate one, so I just say whatever I feel like.

"Tucker Max" is the ultimate drunk stage. Never mind about operating heavy machinery; I have trouble figuring out door knobs. The only benefit is that I don't have to worry about driving because I can't even find my keys. Any of several things can happen at Tucker Max Drunk. I can:

-black out;
-hook up with ugly or fat girls;
-fail to hook up with hot girls because I pass out on them;
-vomit uncontrollably;
-make loud, boisterous, and thoroughly untruthful claims about my achievements;
-commit myself to large and utterly hopeless wagers that I have no way of covering;
-claim to be an renowned expert on things I could not begin to explain when sober;
-start fights with small, defenseless people;
-break things;
-become very angry with inanimate objects, and loudly curse them;
-say anything, no matter how offensive or mean, to anyone, no matter how helpless or undeserving;
-wake up somewhere that I have never seen before, and do not recognize;
-have long and involved conversations over important topics that I have no recollection of the next day

Please do not attempt to drive past "Buzzed." I might not even recommend driving then, unless it's someone elses Mustang. :lol:

[k20z3]

******* retarded.

[Solus]

Again.. drunk when it was suggested not when i did it

[edeeZee]

When you see a bunch of full-sized domestic pick ups, with dirt patches of land, corn-fed, husky looking guys, with some girl yelling "he's getting it dirty!"...you know it's redneck, LOL

[Dustin@Z1]

Wow...you had some guts doing that to the Z.

My only comment...have you ever had to clean mud out of anything?? I ride fourwheeler and occasionally get a little muddy in my DD Jeep Cherokee. Mud gets everywhere, I can imagine what the undercarriage looked like afterwards.

[kdo2milger]

Originally Posted by Dustin@Z1

Wow...you had some guts doing that to the Z.

My only comment...have you ever had to clean mud out of anything?? I ride fourwheeler and occasionally get a little muddy in my DD Jeep Cherokee. Mud gets everywhere, I can imagine what the undercarriage looked like afterwards.

i wonder how much weight was added once all that mud dryed...

[Solus]

Yes I have had to. And I put this one up on a lift and spent a substantial amount of time cleaning it afterwards. Call me a redneck if you want lol, a lot of my redneck friends were there and I fit in plenty well with the crowd if I put my faux hawk down and take off the designer clothes and leave the car at home. I don't mind.

[Solus]

Yes that is me lol I made the comment

[nogoodname]

As an individual born and bred in the South, the term “redneck” is more than a little offensive. It implies the legions of hardworking, clever individuals in this neck of the woods are ignorant, mouth-breathing yokels with nothing better to do than shoot at road signs. So when I say the jackass in the video after the jump is the epitome of the redneck class, I mean it. The guy’s piloting a black 2009 Nissan 370Z with the obligatory stupid-huge, ugly wheels. That’s all dandy. I do love me some Z’s, and I’ll even forgive the choice in rollers. What’s unforgiveable is the repeated slides through the red clay of North Carolina, that delicious 3.7-liter VQ V6 bashing off the rev limiter the whole time. With the windows down. If I had $100 to bet, I’d say this guy is a former Camaro owner. At the very least, he’s the poster child for looking a used car over thoroughly before committing to buy. Hop the jump for a cringe-worthy look.












the wheels aren't ugly...lol

[Solus]

I like my wheels lol. Don't much care if anyone else does or not.

[nogoodname]

i'll take a note if i run over someone while drunk, make sure its a closed course...... then its okay.

[kannibul]

Originally Posted by nogoodname

i'll take a note if i run over someone while drunk, make sure its a closed course...... then its okay.

So, what you're saying is that if you run someone over on a closed course sober, it's OK?

Just trying to understand your level of sarcasm

[nogoodname]

Originally Posted by kannibul

So, what you're saying is that if you run someone over on a closed course sober, it's OK?

Just trying to understand your level of sarcasm

from your view.. yes its okay

[Solus]

for the fiftieth time.. i was drunk when it was suggested not when i did it...

[kannibul]

Originally Posted by Solus

for the fiftieth time.. i was drunk when it was suggested not when i did it...

Too many "holier than thou" people in this thread man.

As if they've NEVER driven after having a beer or two, or after taking any form or pill...or while piss.ed off, or speeding...or anything illegal...or even legally unsafe.