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The New "What did you do with your Z today" (with off topic replies) VII

Originally Posted by Pintsize725 Hello everyone! Sphincter clenching moment of the day: a cement truck in the lane next to me and a half car length ahead started emptying out

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Old 08-27-2013, 07:42 PM   #4606 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Pintsize725 View Post
Hello everyone!

Sphincter clenching moment of the day: a cement truck in the lane next to me and a half car length ahead started emptying out onto the road as I was about to pull up next to it. Luckily my crappy brakes still work.
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Old 08-27-2013, 07:44 PM   #4607 (permalink)
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Subject: Fun with puns
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1. The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye - doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whisky - maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber-band pistol was confiscated from an algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

9. A hole has been found in the nudist - camp wall... The police are looking into it.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

12. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: "Keep off the Grass".

15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

17. A backward poet writes inverse.

18. In a democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

19 . When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you'd be in Seine.

21. A vulture carrying two dead raccoons boards an airplane. The stewardess looks at him and says, "I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger."

22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says , "Dam!"

23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, "I've lost my electron." The other says, "Are you sure?" The first replies, "Yes, I'm positive."

25. Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root-canal? His goal: transcend dental medication.
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Old 08-27-2013, 07:44 PM   #4608 (permalink)
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Happy birthday Mike!
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Old 08-27-2013, 07:48 PM   #4609 (permalink)
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You like the hot stuff Jason? If do, I'll send you a bottle.
You bet! Just like my women, hot and spicy.

I wouldn't mind trying some death sauce. I wonder if there is any issue getting something like that across the border? I have friends that ship alcohol all over the world without issue.

I'm up for buying, if you're up to shipping some out.
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Old 08-27-2013, 07:58 PM   #4610 (permalink)
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You bet! Just like my women, hot and spicy.

I wouldn't mind trying some death sauce. I wonder if there is any issue getting something like that across the border? I have friends that ship alcohol all over the world without issue.

I'm up for buying, if you're up to shipping some out.
No problem. I'll pick up a bottle at the local World Market and reach out to you. If you really like hot sauce, there's an excellent resource for it out at my local flea market.
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Old 08-27-2013, 07:59 PM   #4611 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Pintsize725 View Post
Hello everyone!

Sphincter clenching moment of the day: a cement truck in the lane next to me and a half car length ahead started emptying out onto the road as I was about to pull up next to it. Luckily my crappy brakes still work.
Damn, glad you didn't run into his dumped load.
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Old 08-27-2013, 08:09 PM   #4612 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Pintsize725 View Post
Hello everyone!

Sphincter clenching moment of the day: a cement truck in the lane next to me and a half car length ahead started emptying out onto the road as I was about to pull up next to it. Luckily my crappy brakes still work.

not cool.
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Old 08-27-2013, 08:09 PM   #4613 (permalink)
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haha I love Mike Huckabee and our fellow Americans
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Old 08-27-2013, 08:11 PM   #4614 (permalink)
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an hour of canadian time is actually an 65 mins of american time


I love our 20 hour clock


Gale I love that episode of the mercer report
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Old 08-27-2013, 09:05 PM   #4615 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by Pintsize725 View Post
Hello everyone!

Sphincter clenching moment of the day: a cement truck in the lane next to me and a half car length ahead started emptying out onto the road as I was about to pull up next to it. Luckily my crappy brakes still work.
wow, that's crazy, mspint.
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Old 08-27-2013, 09:06 PM   #4616 (permalink)
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Goodpm, everyone!
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Old 08-27-2013, 09:21 PM   #4617 (permalink)
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Goodpm Ken-San.
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Old 08-27-2013, 09:23 PM   #4618 (permalink)
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Woot! First magazine of the season, and it's a buyer's guide! They always hit us up to spend money for the new season! LOL


(Used an old pass to cover my addy from the nosy stalkers!!)
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Old 08-27-2013, 09:35 PM   #4619 (permalink)
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Woot! First magazine of the season, and it's a buyer's guide! They always hit us up to spend money for the new season! LOL

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(Used an old pass to cover my addy from the nosy stalkers!!)
Awww... I wanted to come give you a midnight hug! Now I'll never get to.

Dreams crushed.







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Old 08-27-2013, 09:41 PM   #4620 (permalink)
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Awww... I wanted to come give you a midnight hug! Now I'll never get to.

Dreams crushed.







LOL, keep yo a$$ on that side of the Mississippi and we'll be all good.
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