So this monkey goes into a bar...

Mergnthwirker · 06-21-2009, 01:03 PM

A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, he somehow swallows it whole.

The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?"

The guy says "No, what?"

He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!"

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything in sight, the little bastard. Sorry. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves.

Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it.

Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted.

"Did you see what your monkey did now? He asks.

"No, what? "replies the guy.

"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to sh*t out that cue ball, he measures everything first."

BrianUSMC · 06-21-2009, 01:15 PM

Ok. That's pretty funny. +1 to you, sir, as I will be using that one at the Officer's Club next friday.

u155282 · 06-21-2009, 08:00 PM

+1 indeed

batman_4 · 06-21-2009, 08:39 PM

lol!

tommyguns · 06-21-2009, 09:45 PM

Thats to funny!

AdamMax350 · 06-21-2009, 10:04 PM

that was goooood!!

robin · 10-17-2009, 08:10 PM

lol!

at least the monkey had learned his mistakes in swallowing the ball...the monkey is smart huh! what a disgusted way to measure the size of the object/food!

zfokaiz · 10-18-2009, 07:43 PM

lol

dcrew1x · 10-19-2009, 08:01 PM

bullitt5897 · 10-19-2009, 10:24 PM

Ohhh man that joke takes me back! I remember hearing that in grade school! What a Classic!

DuNw/4BanGerZ · 10-19-2009, 11:16 PM

hahah +1

INTENSEPOWER · 10-28-2009, 01:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by bullitt5897

Ohhh man that joke takes me back! I remember hearing that in grade school! What a Classic!

My thoughts exactly.

lovethe370z · 11-10-2009, 10:32 PM

hillarious!!!!!!!

alexpila · 11-11-2009, 02:30 AM

LOL haahaa reminds me of this ad we have running here in South Africa

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIFn0wtIrOI

06-21-2009, 01:03 PM	#1 (permalink)
Mergnthwirker Base Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Connecticut USA Posts: 243 Drives: '09 370Z PW MT6 S Rep Power: 15	So this monkey goes into a bar... A guy walks into a bar with his pet monkey. He orders a drink and while he's drinking, the monkey jumps all around the place. The monkey grabs some olives off the bar and eats them, then grabs some sliced limes and eats them, then jumps onto the pool table, grabs one of the billiard balls, sticks it in his mouth, and to everyone's amazement, he somehow swallows it whole. The bartender screams at the guy, "Did you see what your monkey just did?" The guy says "No, what?" He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy, "he eats everything in sight, the little bastard. Sorry. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff." He finishes his drink, pays his bill, pays for the stuff the monkey ate, then leaves. Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again. While the man is finishing his drink, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. Then the monkey finds a peanut, and again sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted. "Did you see what your monkey did now? He asks. "No, what? "replies the guy. "Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry and a peanut up his butt, pulled it out, and ate it!" said the bartender. "Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replied the guy. "He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to sh*t out that cue ball, he measures everything first."

06-21-2009, 08:39 PM	#4 (permalink)
batman_4 A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: McAllen Tx. Posts: 1,038 Drives: '09 PW 370Z Rep Power: 367	lol! __________________ '09 6spd. Touring: Eibach / SPC / Motordyne / Berk / Z1 / Oneighty / Mines / SSR / Stillen / CFE

10-19-2009, 08:01 PM	#9 (permalink)
dcrew1x Track Member Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: SoCal Posts: 821 Drives: Graphite Bullet Rep Power: 368	__________________ 2009 PG 6MT Sports Stillen Gen3 CAI \| Stillen CBE \| AMS Short Shifter \| Nismo Brace Kit

10-19-2009, 10:24 PM	#10 (permalink)
bullitt5897 Premium Member Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: North GA Posts: 6,831 Drives: Twin Turbo Z34 Rep Power: 3682	Ohhh man that joke takes me back! I remember hearing that in grade school! What a Classic! __________________ *Shop Cars: 2013 318whp Nismo VspecII 370z SOLD, 2009 1000hp+ 93oct 4.0L TT 370z Fast Intentions STAGE 4 #054*

11-10-2009, 10:32 PM	#13 (permalink)
lovethe370z Base Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: MARYLAND Posts: 182 Drives: 2010 370z Coupe Rep Power: 15	hillarious!!!!!!! __________________ 2010 370z Coupe Touring, Sport, Nav 6MT Red/Black

06-21-2009, 01:15 PM	#2 (permalink)
BrianUSMC Base Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Beaufort, SC Age: 45 Posts: 78 Drives: 370z PG,6MT,T,S,Nav Rep Power: 16	Ok. That's pretty funny. +1 to you, sir, as I will be using that one at the Officer's Club next friday.

06-21-2009, 08:00 PM	#3 (permalink)
u155282 Banned Join Date: Jan 2009 Location: Enid, OK Posts: 136 Drives: stanglangling Rep Power: 0	+1 indeed

06-21-2009, 09:45 PM	#5 (permalink)
tommyguns Track Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: New York Age: 64 Posts: 914 Drives: 370Z/Sport/Black/MT Rep Power: 16	Thats to funny!

06-21-2009, 10:04 PM	#6 (permalink)
AdamMax350 Base Member Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Mauldin SC Posts: 4 Drives: Nissan Altima v6 '07 Rep Power: 16	that was goooood!!

10-17-2009, 08:10 PM	#7 (permalink)
robin Base Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: philippines Posts: 201 Drives: 04 Nissan 350Z CS M6 Rep Power: 15	lol! at least the monkey had learned his mistakes in swallowing the ball...the monkey is smart huh! what a disgusted way to measure the size of the object/food!

10-18-2009, 07:43 PM	#8 (permalink)
zfokaiz Base Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Cape Carteret Posts: 98 Drives: 09 370z 6spd Rep Power: 15	lol

10-19-2009, 11:16 PM	#11 (permalink)
DuNw/4BanGerZ Base Member Join Date: Apr 2009 Location: Virginia Beach Age: 40 Posts: 92 Drives: 2009 370Z MB M6 w/sp Rep Power: 16	hahah +1

11-11-2009, 02:30 AM	#14 (permalink)
alexpila Base Member Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Johannesburg Posts: 178 Drives: 09 370z AT Touring Rep Power: 15	LOL haahaa reminds me of this ad we have running here in South Africa http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tIFn0wtIrOI __________________ 09 7AT Touring 370z, Pearl White, Evo-R Carbon Fang Cover, Carbon Top Cover, HKS Centre Pipe, Illuminated Kickplates, Custom Sprayed stock RAYS Last edited by alexpila; 11-11-2009 at 02:36 AM.