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-   -   Over 30 and still single, post here. (http://www.the370z.com/lounge-off-topic/81586-over-30-still-single-post-here.html)

Chuck33079 01-08-2014 10:00 AM
Why not put the ball in her court? You pick the place for dinner, but have her pick the activity since it's in her neck of the woods.

Cmike2780 01-08-2014 10:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DIGItonium (Post 2641891)
Yup! The initial plan was a double date with my friend and his fiancee. When he and I decided against it I had already asked my date about Wednesday. She works everyday and gets off a little later. We've met a few times, and she went to my house for the NYE party.

I'm in Wichita, which doesn't have much going on compared to KC. The cold weather limits outdoor activities as well. She suggested hanging out in the downtown area, which is close to where she lives. This is the first time I've put so much thought even though I just need to go with the flow and have fun. I've hung out with other girls in the past year, and never had to go through this. She's pretty outgoing, so I'm sure she's fine with anything. It would be nice to simply get to know each other better in person since the phone/text stuff is fairly minimal.

Here's a site to look at:
Arts & Entertainment | OldtownWichita.com

Here's what I have to deal with:
-Ice Skating (Closed at 3PM)
-Art Museum (Closd after 5PM or so)
-Walking around the city or town and going into small shops. (Possible freezing drizzle, and she's a little sick.)
-Unique restaurant (Easy)
-Zoo or Aquarium (Too cold. We don't have an aquarium)
-The Driving Range (Too cold. We have a couple spots, but it's all indoor arcade and ticket gaming. Fun to take a date, though.)
-Watch a game (WSU Shockers playing at home tonight! We might miss it by the time we finish dinner, though.)
Man, that sucks. In that case, keep it simple and suggest doing those things another time later at the end of your date. She knows the place too and how there is very little to do.

Good luck to you sir. A good first date on a Wed is going to be challenging but not impossible.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chuck33079 (Post 2641910)
Why not put the ball in her court? You pick the place for dinner, but have her pick the activity since it's in her neck of the woods.
I wouldn't do that on a first date. Women want something planned, not having to plan something....especially on the first date. The worst possible response to that conversation is, "I dunno, where do you wanna go?"

DIGItonium 01-08-2014 10:16 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chuck33079 (Post 2641910)
Why not put the ball in her court? You pick the place for dinner, but have her pick the activity since it's in her neck of the woods.
I think I'll suggest a comfy place to lounge, enjoy some hot chocolate and deserts, and have a good conversation. It might not be downtown, but it's ok. It's easy navigating around this town as long as places are still open.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cmike2780 (Post 2641916)
Good luck to you sir. A good first date on a Wed is going to be challenging but not impossible.
Definitely. Thanks! :tiphat:

Chuck33079 01-08-2014 10:26 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cmike2780 (Post 2641916)
I wouldn't do that on a first date. Women want something planned, not having to plan something....especially on the first date. The worst possible response to that conversation is, "I dunno, where do you wanna go?"
That's a woman's response any time you ask them that question. Why not start early? :rofl2:

"Any place is fine."
"Ok, let's go to X."
"I hate X, pick something else. Anything's fine."
"How about Y?"
"I hate Y."
"Then you pick."
"Anything's fine"


Repeat until you just say "**** it" and go to the one place you hate that you know she loves, and she wanted to go to, but didn't want to suggest it.

Cmike2780 01-08-2014 10:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chuck33079 (Post 2641934)
That's a woman's response any time you ask them that question. Why not start early? :rofl2:

"Any place is fine."
"Ok, let's go to X."
"I hate X, pick something else. Anything's fine."
"How about Y?"
"I hate Y."
"Then you pick."
"Anything's fine"


Repeat until you just say "**** it" and go to the one place you hate that you know she loves, and she wanted to go to, but didn't want to suggest it.
Truth!

....can also apply to... "where do you want to eat for dinner?" I'm actually kinda glad my girl's a vegetarian. Every restaurant has salad or pasta.

Chuck33079 01-08-2014 10:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cmike2780 (Post 2641956)
Truth!

....can also apply to... "where do you want to eat for dinner?" I'm actually kinda glad my girl's a vegetarian. Every restaurant has salad or pasta.
My gf and I have this argument at least every ten days. They always win that one since we value silence more than they do. "If I take you to the place you like will you stfu about it already? Yes? Then get in the ******* car." :rofl2:

DIGItonium 01-09-2014 12:05 AM
Well the night was interesting, but short. We did have a good talk, but there was so much to talk about I couldn't quite organize my thoughts or even finish them without getting interrupted. After leaving the restaurant she hugged me a couple of times, thanked me, but she wanted to go home to sleep. She showed interest to meet up again and told me to just let her know. Once I got home I broke the rules by making a courtesy call to make sure she made it home alright and to finish an important thought. She thanked me again for dinner, had a great night, and that she felt comfortable talking to me. She also reiterated about hanging out again soon be it tomorrow night at the club or this weekend.

Overall the night was okay. She's full of positive energy and is highly social (more than me). Needs more time...

Cmike2780 01-09-2014 08:39 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DIGItonium (Post 2643062)
Well the night was interesting, but short. We did have a good talk, but there was so much to talk about I couldn't quite organize my thoughts or even finish them without getting interrupted. After leaving the restaurant she hugged me a couple of times, thanked me, but she wanted to go home to sleep. She showed interest to meet up again and told me to just let her know. Once I got home I broke the rules by making a courtesy call to make sure she made it home alright and to finish an important thought. She thanked me again for dinner, had a great night, and that she felt comfortable talking to me. She also reiterated about hanging out again soon be it tomorrow night at the club or this weekend.

Overall the night was okay. She's full of positive energy and is highly social (more than me). Needs more time...
It sounds like you had fun, but you both should be ecstatic about this. If she felt chemistry between you two, she would have said f' it and stayed out anyways, drink coffee, something...

Also, saying she wants to hang out again and making plans to hang out again are two different things. Too little too late, but just dinner wasn't really the best plan for a first date. It's not enough time to know someone and too many distractions associated with eating food. You're also facing each other like you're on an interview the whole time instead of spending time side by side. It's a strange minutia of body language interpretation, but it could mean the difference between being comfortable and being totally turned off.

You also have to be honest with yourself and ask if you're really into her.
...and awwwwww....dude!! You never call her right after just seeing her.

I apologize if I sound negative, but there's still a shot with girl if you play your cards right. My advise (and you can totally ignore it).... is to give it at least two days before you call her again...so Saturday at the earliest. Talk on the phone about all the thoughts you wanted to get out there. Phone dates can be just as constructive as dinner dates so treat it as such.

Watch "Swingers"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0PUrNwvvBk

DIGItonium 01-09-2014 11:37 AM
The interruptions stemmed from briefly interrupting herself once to text someone, seeing friends coming in and getting up to chat with them (before ordering food and after dinner), and the lengthy conversation with the server. I gotta hand it to her though. She doesn't go off initiating hugs with everyone, and she hugged me quite a bit before and after the date. She's very charismatic, and one would probably describe her as a social butterfly.

I have a hunch she's the type that would be out and socializing with lots of people at the club. I don't get the vibe that she's out looking for guys since they're the ones chasing and creeping on her, but she seems to enjoy socializing with people. At this stage, if I were to see her I'd just hug if she initiates, get her a drink, quick chat, and just let her do her thing.

Agreed. I think she's giving me more time and opportunities. Personally, the challenge is not entirely about her, but it's for me to figure out how to make the right moves, be myself, and stay confident.

Cmike2780 01-09-2014 01:00 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DIGItonium (Post 2643602)
The interruptions stemmed from briefly interrupting herself once to text someone, seeing friends coming in and getting up to chat with them (before ordering food and after dinner), and the lengthy conversation with the server. I gotta hand it to her though. She doesn't go off initiating hugs with everyone, and she hugged me quite a bit before and after the date. She's very charismatic, and one would probably describe her as a social butterfly.
Not for nothing, but a hug is not exactly what you want...is it? Be honest here. If you're attracted to her, your goal at the end of the date is, at the very least, a real kiss. Don't sell yourself short and settle for a long hug. Unless she's grabbing your junk, the hug means "friend-zone." Don't let that happen. You gotta make your intentions clear and go for it. As for confidence, you're already there bro. She agreed to go on a date with you for a reason so you're half way there. Most women are insecure about themselves and she's probably wondering about the same things you are.

Chuck33079 01-09-2014 01:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cmike2780 (Post 2643694)
Not for nothing, but a hug is not exactly what you want...is it? Be honest here. If you're attracted to her, your goal at the end of the date is, at the very least, a real kiss. Don't sell yourself short and settle for a long hug. Unless she's grabbing your junk, the hug means "friend-zone." Don't let that happen. You gotta make your intentions clear and go for it. As for confidence, you're already there bro. She agreed to go on a date with you for a reason so you're half way there. Most women are insecure about themselves and she's probably wondering about the same things you are.
Yep. Most guys get friendzoned because they're wishy-washy about their intentions. If there is a second date of any type, kiss her. If she doesn't go for it, she's gone.

DIGItonium 01-09-2014 01:11 PM
Hmm... she asked me about the club tonight, which is probably not the best idea to do that. So far no plans for Friday and Saturday. I do plan to take it further the next time I see her.

Chuck33079 01-09-2014 01:12 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DIGItonium (Post 2643715)
Hmm... she asked me about the club tonight, which is probably not the best idea.
Why not?

XiP 01-09-2014 01:12 PM
Glad you're making progress!

DIGItonium 01-09-2014 01:16 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chuck33079 (Post 2643716)
Why not?
[shrugs] I'm assuming she's going to be surrounded and see how I'd handle it if I'm there? I might gather up some good wingmen. Another challenge, indeed. Haha.


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