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Next Topic: Easily Misinterpreted Statements
...the more clever, the better :tup:

All I'm saying, is that it looks like a maternity dress.

By the way, how long have you been pregnant? (Oh you're not pregnant?)

Clearly, she's been working out. (sitting next to the wife, looking at the waitress....from behind)

D!ck is in her face (My friend Richard is yelling at his wife)

Excellent head (refering to your beer)

For heaven's sake, honey --- just blow on it gently, it'll harden up (Overheard in the office by your coworkers when you were on the phone coaching your wife on how to help speed up her fingernail polish drying efforts)

Got milk?

How does this make my butt look? (said loudly in the Macy's dressing room)

Is it in yet?

Grab the @ss!! (says Juan Valdez's neighbor)

Hold this for me. (overheard at the men's urinal)

It was a lot warmer than I imagined, when I went inside her. (referring to a lipstick red 1970 Shelby) :icon17:

Jackhammer the hole harder! (said the construction foreman to his crew)

Knead it gently lengthwise and drink all the juices that come out of the end. (Overheard at the park -- a woman telling her son how to eat an Otter Pop)

Lick the tip, then put it in (talking to a girl about the reed for her clarinet)

Moisten it thoroughly before you try to insert it -- it will go in much easier. (Overheard from the garage when my sons were installing new control arm bushings on my 240Z)

Naked smoothies later?

Open your legs. No, more. More. That's it. Oh yeah, that's good. (Overheard coming from my living room -- I forgot my wife's yoga instructor was over)

Plenty of guys suffer from the same thing (girlfriend talking about my pre-flight anxiety)

Quit trying to talk to me with that in your mouth.

"I now pronounce you Mr. & Mrs. Cuce" (pronounced Coochie) (said the judge aloud who married my buddy and his wife last week, judges face= priceless)

Red looks good on you! (talking to a girl in the tampon isle:facepalm:)

*Thread Bump*

She knows how to work a stick (shift) :icon17:

*Bump*

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