Jury Rigger

kleptomaniac detector

Lindsay Lohan's Life Coach

mammary glands masseuse lump inspector

necropsy technician

oprah food taster

pantyhose quality control inspector

q-tip quality control "fluffer"

Ron Jeremy's spiritual advisor

serena's financial anal-izer

telemarketer for ashleymadison.com

usher at the moving pictures show

venereal disease screener at Boot Camp

WWII old folks home gigolo

x-ray technician

young girl procurer for all the wrong reasons and eternal damnation

Z-car modifier

*** bump ***

...ahhh...mr. dee...me no know wat x-actly emo-distress is x-actly an' DAT causes me frustration an' anxiety...does that count???...what alphabit might that "bee", sir???

Bipolar disorder

confusion

delusional thinking

emotive inability

flatulence

gigantic acne just after puberty...the teen-sex years

herpes outbreak causes emotional distress

immature ejaculation

jaundice

keep hearing voices in your head

Killing the voices in your head......

longing to be home

m&ms melts in your hand, not in your mouth

necrophilia tendencies causing social embarrassment

oprah's show cancelled

pajamas bunched up around my ankles during coitus

q-tips look and smell really funky after cleaning my ears

ruing over failed relationships

sympathizing with relation when their significant other should be the real recipient of concern/sorrow

Testis, 1, 2, 3???