pretty old stewardesses

Queen Latifah is on my left and Rosie O'Donnell on my right

realizing 1st class ain't what it used to be...

Stewardesses who still wear stockings -- stimulating both the spirit and the imagination as one ponders as to whether they are thigh-highs, gartered or pantyhose...

titty boating a Stewardes

u observe stews wearing "F-ME" pumps...'her' words...(my ex)...not mine...1st time i ever hearded that...sigh

virgins on a plane trying to get a 2 for one with the V card and mile high club

waiting for the lavatory because some clown is in there who thinks he is the only person on the plane...

(bump)

xtra long taking time to finish masturbating in the lavatory because some impatient bastard keeps banging on the friggin' door!!!

yucky, unknown substance found in seat pocket

zebra-pelted seat covers glanced whilst peering into stuffy first-class...

We don't have those...

There are complimentary foot rubs though...

ask permission (and gotten it...sigh) to marry my last ex...

bong hits before the GRE exam...

coors bought by the case w/no icing then driving around all evening in high school...yuck...

dentistry without Novocain

electricity cutting a large hole in my kliens (wire cutters) too many times...$30+ essential tool, too

faking so many orgasms with my crazy ex-wife -- :icon17:

gone to work after drinking all night...(gone to work...not the drinking part...)

hung-over while delivering a speech at a convention in Palm Springs -- drained the mini-bar twice the night before...

i expected too much from too many relationships...

jerking off in the first class lavatory and forgetting to lock the door first...

kept on doing the same thing over and over again, hoping for a different outcome...

listening to a Lady Gaga song

married my last ex...

not going to grad school immediately after earning my bachelor's degree

over estimating the trade-in value of my paid-off cr-z when buying my zed...

paying too much alimony

quick to cut off my curly locks BEFORE joining the air farce to spitefully show up my h.s. sweetheart...kinda like cutting one's nose off...

replying to ex-wife number 3's very first email she sent to me...

?

sneaking out my jr. high bedroom window to possibly getting 'hooked up' for the first time...and getting caught...SIGH...

Side note: Had I not replied to her very first email, I would not have entered a relationship with her, married her and then suffered the turmoil and brain-damage our marriage caused me.

Taking something from a store without paying for it...

underwater screaming my lungs out after being pushed into the deep end water at the boy's club by my "friend" after bragging i knew how to swim---I DIDN'T...i was literally going down for the 3rd time...all the while desperately pleading "JEFF"!!!...btw, this was the 50's in detroit and we all swam naked (and afraid)...

Vacationing in northern Minnesota during the most heat and humidity on record...

wondering why, what i felt was my first best friend in ages, turned out to a slimy, back-stabbin', untrustworthy, jealous competitor of mine instead of a bro'...???

yelling at my Dad for the first, and only, time when I was a teen, only to be greeted by the back of his hand