Grenade blast in my office

hanged myself during auto-erotic-asphyxiation in my hotel room -- the maid found me hanging from the door knob clothed in garter belt and stockings

Iron Maiden myself while listening to Iron Maiden after getting a BJ from a Colombian maiden..

Jumped out of the 16th floor window at the Marriott when I heard a knock at the door and I thought it was my wife -- I was in the room with 4 800 dollar per hour transgender Thai hookers

Kilo of blow, in the wrong hands, at the wrong time, belonging to the wrong cartel, gets you shot in the face with a .45:shakes head:

laser experimentation in my garage gone horribly wrong

Mauled by a black bear

Nipped by piranhas while being lowered into a fish tank an inch a minute.

Orca whale playfully tips over your boat, causing you to panic, go into cardiac arrest, and drown

penile implant get massively infected, but you think it is supped to be as big as two grapefruit do you ignore it...
after the doctors have to amputate, you have no reason to live so you park your z in the garage, close the doors and start the engine -- then you wait for death to welcome you into her cold arms

Quartering with my legs and arms tied to 4 Priuses, but they have so little TQ that I pulled them back toward me and got crushed in the process.

Rabies...from infected brown squirrel double-team ambush after you come home from washing the Z

Speeding in the Z

Tied the rope too tight during auto-erotic asphyxiation play

Underwear had a black widow spider that bites you on the taint. Death by taint...d@mn :shakes head: