Pathfinder anyone?

CAN-ZED · 10-26-2012, 09:46 AM

Thought this was kind of humorous listing on Kijiji

( dont know this guy or have anything to do with the listing)

2000 Nissan Pathfinder SUV

Date Listed 14-Oct-12
Last Edited 19-Oct-12
Price $5,000.00
Address Kangaroo Rd, Victoria, BC V9C, Canada
View map

For Sale By Owner
Make Nissan

Model Pathfinder

Year 2000
Kilometers 270000
Body Type SUV, Crossover
Transmission Automatic
Colour Green
Drivetrain 4 x 4
Type Used
Fuel Type Gasoline

•    

Description

•    
•    
OK, let me start off by saying this baby is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Nissan would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly.

It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop.

This was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is).

No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 200 HP engine to outrun the cops. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. The pathfinder also has an automatic transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It's saved my bacon more than once.

It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man.

My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $5000, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $1000for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore.

There's only 270 000km on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo.

Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash.

To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants!!.

6MT · 10-26-2012, 09:46 AM

he needs a life

jcosta79 · 10-26-2012, 09:49 AM

I think one guy did a post like that on Craig's List like 5 years ago and everyone has been copying his post ever since.

CAN-ZED · 10-26-2012, 09:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by jcosta79

I think one guy did a post like that on Craig's List like 5 years ago and everyone has been copying his post ever since.

yeah, sounds slightly familiar,

10-26-2012, 09:46 AM	#1 (permalink)
CAN-ZED Base Member Join Date: May 2009 Location: h Posts: 132 Drives: h Rep Power: 15	Pathfinder anyone? Thought this was kind of humorous listing on Kijiji ( dont know this guy or have anything to do with the listing) 2000 Nissan Pathfinder SUV Date Listed 14-Oct-12 Last Edited 19-Oct-12 Price $5,000.00 Address Kangaroo Rd, Victoria, BC V9C, Canada View map For Sale By Owner Make Nissan Model Pathfinder Year 2000 Kilometers 270000 Body Type SUV, Crossover Transmission Automatic Colour Green Drivetrain 4 x 4 Type Used Fuel Type Gasoline •     Description •     •     OK, let me start off by saying this baby is only available for purchase by the manliest of men (or women). My friend, if it was possible for a vehicle to sprout chest hair and a five o'clock shadow, this Nissan would look like Tom Selleck. It is just that manly. It was never intended to drive to the mall so you can pick up that adorable shirt at Abercrombie & Fitch that you had your eye on. It wasn't meant to transport you to yoga class or Linens & Things. No, that's what your Prius is for. If that's the kind of car you're looking for, then just do us all a favor and stop reading right now. I mean it. Just stop. This was engineered by 3rd degree ninja super-warriors in the highest mountains of Japan to serve the needs of the man that cheats death on a daily basis. They didn't even consider superfluous nancy boy amenities like navigation systems (real men don't get lost), heated leather seats (a real man doesn't let anything warm his butt), or On Star (real men don't even know what the hell On Star is). No, this brute comes with the things us testosterone-fueled super action junkies need. It has a 200 HP engine to outrun the cops. It's got special blood/gore resistant upholstery. It even has a first-aid kit in the back. You know what the first aid kit has in it? A pint of whiskey, a stitch-your-own-wound kit and a hunk of leather to bite down on when you're operating on yourself. The pathfinder also has an automatic transmission so if you're being chased by Libyan terrorists, you'll still be able to shoot your machine gun out the window and drive at the same time. It's saved my bacon more than once. It has room for you and the four hotties you picked up on the way to the gym to blast your pecs and hammer your glutes. There's a tow hitch to pull your 50 caliber anti-Taliban, self cooling machine gun. I also just put in a new windshield to replace the one that got shot out by The Man. My price on this bad boy is an incredibly low $5000, but I'll entertain reasonable offers. And by reasonable, I mean don't walk up and tell me you'll give me $1000for it. That's liable to earn you a Burmese-roundhouse-sphincter-kick with a follow up three fingered eye-jab. Would it hurt? Hell yeah. Let's just say you won't be the prettiest guy at the Coldplay concert anymore. There's only 270 000km on this four-wheeled hellcat from Planet Kickass. Trust me, it will outlive you and the offspring that will carry your name. It will live on as a monument to your machismo. Now, go look in the mirror and tell me what you see. If it's a rugged, no holds barred, super brute he-man macho Chuck Norris stunt double, then contact me. I might be out hang-gliding or BASE jumping or just chilling with my ladies, but I'll get back to you. And when I do, we'll talk about a price over a nice glass of Schmidt while we listen to Johnny Cash. To sweeten the deal a little, I'm throwing in this pair of MC Hammer pants for the man with rippling quads that can't fit into regular pants. Yeah, you heard me. FREE MC Hammer pants!!.

10-26-2012, 09:46 AM	#2 (permalink)
6MT A True Z Fanatic Join Date: May 2009 Location: ITU Zone 2 Posts: 22,459 Drives: Reliant Robin Rep Power: 1789	he needs a life __________________ Andrew 2009 370Z Sport/Touring 6MT sold 2013 Honda Civic Si coupe D/D

10-26-2012, 09:49 AM	#3 (permalink)
jcosta79 A True Z Fanatic Join Date: Jul 2012 Location: N/A Posts: 1,430 Drives: N/A Rep Power: 14	I think one guy did a post like that on Craig's List like 5 years ago and everyone has been copying his post ever since. __________________ 2012 PW NISMO #0559 - GT Spec Brace Kit - Swift Springs - ARK TP & Invidia CBE K&N Intake - UpRev Tune - 15mm Z1 Spacers & Studs - StopTech Slotted Rotors & SS Lines - ZSpeed CMAK with Stage 2 Clutch and Lightweight Flywheel

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
look for new nissan pathfinder (vpp)	cwwang76	Nissan 370Z General Discussions	1	09-02-2011 08:12 PM
NSFW Nissan Pathfinder Commercial	AK370Z	Gentleman's Club	3	09-25-2009 12:34 AM
1993 Nissan Pathfinder vs. 2009 370z	gleonard	Nissan 370Z General Discussions	6	07-23-2009 04:01 PM