A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary
surgeon. As she laid her pet on the table, the vet
pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's
chest.


After a moment or two, the vet shook his head and
sadly said, "I'm sorry, your duck, Cuddles, has
passed away."

The distressed woman wailed, "Are you sure?"
"Yes, I am sure. Your duck is dead," replied the
vet..

"How can you be so sure?" she protested. "I mean
you haven't done any testing on him or anything.
He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the
room. He returned a few minutes later with a black
Labrador Retriever. As the duck's owner looked on
in amazement, the dog stood on his hind legs, put his
front paws on the examination table and sniffed the
duck from top to bottom. He then looked up at the
vet with sad eyes and shook his head.

The vet patted the dog on the head and took it out
of the room. A few minutes later he returned with
a cat. The cat jumped on the table and also delicately
sniffed the bird from head to foot. The cat sat back
on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly and
strolled out of the room.

The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry,
but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably,
a dead duck."

The vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys
and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman..
The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!"
she cried, "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead!"

The vet shrugged, "I'm sorry. If you had just taken my
word for it, the bill would have been $20, but with the
Lab Report and the Cat Scan, it's now $150."

hahaha!:rofl2:

:icon18::icon18::icon18:

That's what she said!! Hahahahaha

Sorry I had to be a jerk for a second, morning everyone!

I'm sleepy as hell, and I found $20 in my work pants so I can't tell what kind of day this is gonna be.

The mall is having a Halloween costume contest for little tiny kids, so that means screaming babies and about 50/50 super hot/ super ugly moms. Also I'm taking apart the mall's jungle Jim and kids are screaming "MOMMY!! HE'S BREAKING MY JUNGLE JIM!!" and the parents are mad at me.


Sent from my iPizzle using magic and new-fangled science stuff

No wash&wax today.....

Mother nature is giving a light shower to Toronto..... ***sigh***

:woot: :driving: :happydance:

..Vroom! Nation's fastest road to open in TexasAssociated Press – 4 hrs ago.........SAN ANTONIO (AP) — Motorists, start your engines. It's opening day for the last leg of a Texas toll road with the nation's fastest speed limit.

The final 41-mile stretch of Texas Highway 130 will open Wednesday after three years of construction. The speed limit will be 85 mph.

The toll road is intended to help alleviate the increasingly crowded Interstate 35 corridor between Austin and San Antonio, which are two of the state's largest metropolitan areas.

The new stretch will be from Mustang Ridge, about 10 miles south of Austin's international airport, to Interstate 10 just east of Seguin. A 50-mile stretch bypassing Austin is already open.

Tolls for personal vehicles displaying an electronic toll tag will be about 15 cents per mile. But no tolls will be collected until Nov. 11.

...

:icon18: :tup: you are quite the guy Huck! :icon18: made me laugh out loud this time! :tiphat:

**** yea!! Looks like I'll be visiting SA more often!! :p

:shakes head: sorry alcheng.... :(

:tiphat: yepp-thats him alright! :bowrofl:

:woot: gawd-I wish I was closer, dang!:tup:

An orgasm that costs about $6.15… good deal :tup:

Oh man! I have to save that! Mini GaleForce will shart his Under-Roos when he sees that...