the aisles of Wal-Mart,

i was amazed by

the 300 pound woman wearing

garage bags and pushing

a cartful of

dog food, toilet paper, and her obese baby girl

who was eating a box of Twinkies.

But then i went to pep boys

where I found the parking lot full of

lowered honda civics with

fart can exhausts, exhibiting

their spray painted fenders and

slutty girlfriends.

Speaking of sluts,

I saw one of my ex-wives at

a kinda lower middle-class neighborhood far from my digs, by accident, and just being the curious (ex-furious) guy that i was/is decided to follow her (okay, admittedly, "stalk" her) where i was surprised, thou not disappointed, a bit amused, thou somewhat embarrassed, that she was then seen, (me, peering b'tweents the oil can aisle) so obviously, inadvertently
, nastily flirting with a "counter-guy" so beneath my "status" as her former beard-winner that it makes me wannta diet on gluten-free shat forevermore...

One time,

and one time only,

I experimented with

pornography while i thought no one

was eating gluten free

, but the flight attendant saw me browsing youporn.com 36,000 ft over Colorado.

After the pilot emergency-landed the plane

, we were no longer on earth.

What on earth

are people thinking, when

they think no one

is looking and they let loose a

big ol' belly-laugh

when they see you

trying to be deadly serious about

people needing to put down their cellphones when walking through Atlanta-Hartsfield airport.

Pretending to be asleep

when my wife wants to

secretly pleasure herself

is an exercise in

loneliness, wanting to join in the fray.

Is it just me, or is

the world around me

gone completely