Offering to apply the suntan lotion to some random gal lying near us at the beach

porn stashes found throughout the house and car

Stains on my tie that can’t be explained after I attend my best friend’s Bachelor Party at a strip club

Trying to explain how it was not really cheating when I was on my work trip to Thailand, because my companion was pre-operative, not post-operative...

Underwear with lace beneath the seat of the pick up truck that is not hers....

venereal disease history that you failed to disclose early in the relationship

Whispering her sister’s name into her ear during a “Nooner”

X-rated videos of us posted online without her knowledge and consent.

Zoren coming over often to hang out...

Ah, you mind if I sit here?. ... I was just looking at your... ahem.. er, ... well you certainly have a nice rack, and fortunately for you, ...I just happen to be a rack man...

besides me, there is no one who can take you to the pinnacle of pleasure

Can’t say I’d like you more than fishing, but aw hell, let’s give it a try...

doing the horizontal boogie with you and your girlfriend will be the best night of your life

Ever eat at the Golden Corral? You look familar, and I thought I saw you loading up a plate at the buffet bar over there last week....

Forgive me for interrupting, but have I not seen you in a bukkake video?

"granted, I am somewhat intoxicated, but you look sort of attractive in this dim light"

Have you ever seen 12 inches of pur manhood?

Interestingly enough, my third wife had that same big mole in the middle of her forehead too... :yum:

Just for kicks, why don't you find out what I have in my front pocket

Kinda of an odd question, but what perfume is that? I mean I really like it.... sorta tuna-fishy...

Look at this weird thing on my neck -- does it appear infected to you?

My Mom looks just like you. Want to go out some time?

Never mind the tan line on my ring finger... It's a birthmark.

Out of prison for over a month now and I certainly would like to get back into a normal dating scene again. How ‘bout you?

Perhaps you can settle a disagreement I am having with my former girlfriend -- she claims I have the largest "unit" in the world and I don't think it is... Can you be the judge?

Quit trying to hide it, you know you want to meet my magic tongue

Rub this and make a wish

Seriously, I find yellow teeth a BIG turn on....

Take me, all 3.5 inches of me...

Usually I just like to hit on the regular skanks here, but you seem special...

"vagina" is a fun word to say -- do you agree?

When you consider a boob job, maybe we can go out...

...https://uploads.tapatalk-cdn.com/201...448f8f5743.jpg

You smell just like my mom and that's hot to me...

Zoren said he knows you....

:icon18:

Azz of Zoren

Behemoth gal with giant biceps