What tools do I need in order to DIY?

Ztoon

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: For spinning pop rivets in their holes
until you die of old age.

TWO-TON ENGINE HOIST: For testing the maximum tensile strength of
everything you forgot to disconnect.

ARC WELDER: An industrial tanning machine that also drops molten steel down
into your shoes thus teaching how to dance at the same time.

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal
bar stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings
your beer across the room, denting the freshly-painted project which you had
carefully set in the corner where nothing could get to it.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans paint off bolts and then throws them somewhere under the workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprints and hard-earned calluses from fingers in about the time it takes you to say, 'Oh sh -- '

PLIERS: To round off bolt heads. Sometimes used in the creation of
blood-blisters.

HACKSAW: Transforms human energy into a crooked, unpredictable motion,
and the more you attempt to influence its course, the more dismal your
future becomes.

VISE-GRIPS: Generally used after pliers to completely round off bolt heads.
If nothing else is available, they can also be used to transfer intense
welding heat to the palm of your hand.

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering an automobile to the ground after
you have installed your new brake shoes, trapping the jack handle firmly
under the bumper.

PHILLIPS SCREWDRIVER: Normally used to stab the vacuum seals under lids or
for opening old-style paper-and-tin oil cans and splashing oil on your
shirt; but can also be used, as the name implies, to strip out Phillips
screw heads.

STRAIGHT SCREWDRIVER: To convert common slotted screws into non-removable screws and butchering your palms.

PRY BAR: To crumple the metal surrounding that clip or bracket
you needed to remove in order to replace a 50 cent part.

HOSE CUTTER: Used to make hoses too short.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for lighting various flammable
objects in your shop on fire. Also handy for igniting the grease inside the
wheel hub out of which you want to remove a bearing race.

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Stillen G3|CBE|ground kit, F.I. H.F.C., C.F. fangs|mirrors|pillars, Hotchkis, SSR Type-F, RE-11, UpRev, BC BR coilovers
15% tint, LED black hdlts, color match handles, Dynamat, tail lt. tint, Mines C.F. frt. lip|rear spoiler, Amuse rear,skirts, vented fenders, c.f. vented hood, gloss blk. roof