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-   -   Over 30 and still single, post here. (http://www.the370z.com/lounge-off-topic/81586-over-30-still-single-post-here.html)

ElVee 11-04-2013 12:48 PM

Not to pile on, but definitely cook something. You don't need to be good at it or have a huge variety, but there are some good reasons to keep at it (note: I need to lecture myself on this, as I can always cook more as well):

- You'll naturally acquire the kitchen tools and misc ingredients (spices, sugar, etc) you need so you're not SOL when you do have a girl over and she wants a snack or it's for a meal. You'll also know your way around your own kitchen.
- It's healthier, generally.
- Learn just a few main dishes and maybe just pick up a few tools and learn how to really use them for multiple things (grill, indoor grill, wok, slow cooker, souls vide, blender, steamer, etc). You don't need to know how to make 30 things for month-long-variety. Just enough to build upon it.
- Always have some go-to things to cook for breakfast, even things as simple as bacon, eggs, and english muffins/bread. This is especially important if anyone ever stays the night, even one-nighters. Being provided a breakfast before being booted out the door is the difference between a good experience and a bad one. Pancakes, eggs, bacon, oatmeal, fresh fruit, or whatever. If you're making it before she's up and she smells it: bonus points. Served in bed? Creep points until it's a serious relationship. ;)
- Tons of youtube vids are available for people learning to cook of all levels. I absolutely love learning something new and simple via youtube.
- Simple cookbooks are always discounted at book stores like Barnes & Noble; college cookbooks, 3-5 ingredient stuff, pictures, you name it.

Even if you don't cook for someone else, cook for yourself for overall health and happiness. I prefer to strive for a nice mix of going out, take-out, and cooking. Lately, I've been failing on the cooking...must improve! :)

Chuck33079 11-04-2013 12:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElVee (Post 2554742)
Not to pile on, but definitely cook something. You don't need to be good at it or have a huge variety, but there are some good reasons to keep at it (note: I need to lecture myself on this, as I can always cook more as well):

- You'll naturally acquire the kitchen tools and misc ingredients (spices, sugar, etc) you need so you're not SOL when you do have a girl over and she wants a snack or it's for a meal. You'll also know your way around your own kitchen.
- It's healthier, generally.
- Learn just a few main dishes and maybe just pick up a few tools and learn how to really use them for multiple things (grill, indoor grill, wok, slow cooker, souls vide, blender, steamer, etc). You don't need to know how to make 30 things for month-long-variety. Just enough to build upon it.
- Always have some go-to things to cook for breakfast, even things as simple as bacon, eggs, and english muffins/bread. This is especially important if anyone ever stays the night, even one-nighters. Being provided a breakfast before being booted out the door is the difference between a good experience and a bad one. Pancakes, eggs, bacon, oatmeal, fresh fruit, or whatever. If you're making it before she's up and she smells it: bonus points. Served in bed? Creep points until it's a serious relationship. ;)
- Tons of youtube vids are available for people learning to cook of all levels. I absolutely love learning something new and simple via youtube.
- Simple cookbooks are always discounted at book stores like Barnes & Noble; college cookbooks, 3-5 ingredient stuff, pictures, you name it.

Even if you don't cook for someone else, cook for yourself for overall health and happiness. I prefer to strive for a nice mix of going out, take-out, and cooking. Lately, I've been failing on the cooking...must improve! :)

All of this is good advice. ;)

Z-Girl 12 11-04-2013 01:28 PM

I'm butting in this conversation...I'm 36, single and very happy. No hurry for a relationship. Enjoy being single while you can!

DIGItonium 11-04-2013 01:44 PM

I used this recipe below:
Slow Cooker Meaty Italian Spaghetti Sauce recipe from Betty Crocker

Makes awesome marinara meat sauce. Yum! I've treated several girls to dinner at my place with it.

Another idea... grilling! :D

saber 11-04-2013 02:07 PM

I am one of the few idiots who still talks to his ex.

Then again, we were best friends for years, then tried to go out. It failed miserably, spent the better part of the year away from each other, and only recently started to try and repair things mutually.

Weirdly enough, she is now actively pushing me along and talking to me a lot about the dates I've gone on since.

Again...weird.

Chuck33079 11-04-2013 02:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DIGItonium (Post 2554816)
I used this recipe below:
Slow Cooker Meaty Italian Spaghetti Sauce recipe from Betty Crocker

Makes awesome marinara meat sauce. Yum! I've treated several girls to dinner at my place with it.

Another idea... grilling! :D

Recipe stolen. :tup:

Grilling works too. Plus, it lets you weed out any vegitarians or vegans.

TXSpeedDemon 11-04-2013 02:22 PM

Speaking as a man who was single from 28-35 all I have to say is:

You guys worried about being single in your 30s don't know how good you've got it!

Think about it. In your 30s you are likely stable in your career or profession. Financially stable enough to get the things you need but not waste time on things you just "want". You're still young enough to be extremely physically fit with only 6 months to 1 year of dedicated working out. You're experienced enough to know how to treat a woman right, how not to embarrass her in front of her fiends, when to back off and when to stand your ground. And you're at a point where you don't have to waste your time chasing tail that you don't really want - unless good tail is all you want.

For the first time in your life you have all the power. You are the ones being sought after and are in a position to make all the choices. You have older post-divorce women available to you, and younger women looking for a good husband in an ever shrinking field of eligible bachelors. Now is the time to flip the script, make the women work for you. Have them convince you why you should go out with them, not the other way around as it has been the previous 30 years. This works. You know why? Cause all of the above is true AND women want what they can't have. If you don't just give yourself to them like every other guy does they begin to wonder why. And they start chasing after you.

So go out, have fun, date and do your thing. Live you life the way you want to and don't settle. When you're ready, find the right person for you.

Speaking of that, as the former creative director for Match.com north america (and Chemistry.com) I can tell you that online dating does work. But you have to think of it like a big bar. There are all sorts of people you could meet there. Some are there looking for a free meal, some a good time and some a long term partner. No matter what you are looking for there are a ton of potentials for you there.

Some pointers for the single over 30 online daters out there:
- the highest rated test profile picture for men over 30 was an upper body, smiling with a pet picture. Dogs rated highest, cats next, then farm animals and reptiles last.
- Men over 30 shouldn't have any shirtless pictures. This was deemed immature by women seeking men over 30
- Your profile write up should be short and sweet. Turns out most people don't read profiles looking for commonalities. Instead they look through profiles for anything that could be used to EXCLUDE someone as a potential partner. With such a large group of options it's easy to pass on someone and move on the the next one. So keep your written profile short and sweet to limit the opportunities for exclusion.
- Women get thousands of emails their first week on a site like Match, and hundreds pretty much every week after. Yours needs to stand out. You can't just compliment a woman anymore. What I liked to do was send a girl a note inviting them to play a game of "2 truths and a lie" I would tell them three things about myself and one would be false. They could pretty much guess the answers by reading my profile. This gave them an opportunity to learn about me and respond if interested. It helped weed out the girls who wouldn't be, and thus not waste my time, and put me in a good position to engage in future conversation. It also starts the mentality of them having to work for me, they have to actively engage in conversation and actually read my profile to be able to have anything to say to me. This works about 90% of the time. Go ahead and try it.

And I am a testament to how well match.com works. I met my wife there and we've been together 3 years, married two, with a beautiful baby daughter. At the time we met she was a model and singer (work-safe pics in the Asian thread). She now owns her own boutique salon. So there are some smart and beautiful ones out there.

Best of luck to you all and remember this could be the best time of your life.

Haboob 11-04-2013 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ElVee (Post 2554742)
Not to pile on, but definitely cook something. You don't need to be good at it or have a huge variety, but there are some good reasons to keep at it (note: I need to lecture myself on this, as I can always cook more as well):

- You'll naturally acquire the kitchen tools and misc ingredients (spices, sugar, etc) you need so you're not SOL when you do have a girl over and she wants a snack or it's for a meal. You'll also know your way around your own kitchen.
- It's healthier, generally.
- Learn just a few main dishes and maybe just pick up a few tools and learn how to really use them for multiple things (grill, indoor grill, wok, slow cooker, souls vide, blender, steamer, etc). You don't need to know how to make 30 things for month-long-variety. Just enough to build upon it.
- Always have some go-to things to cook for breakfast, even things as simple as bacon, eggs, and english muffins/bread. This is especially important if anyone ever stays the night, even one-nighters. Being provided a breakfast before being booted out the door is the difference between a good experience and a bad one. Pancakes, eggs, bacon, oatmeal, fresh fruit, or whatever. If you're making it before she's up and she smells it: bonus points. Served in bed? Creep points until it's a serious relationship. ;)
- Tons of youtube vids are available for people learning to cook of all levels. I absolutely love learning something new and simple via youtube.
- Simple cookbooks are always discounted at book stores like Barnes & Noble; college cookbooks, 3-5 ingredient stuff, pictures, you name it.

Even if you don't cook for someone else, cook for yourself for overall health and happiness. I prefer to strive for a nice mix of going out, take-out, and cooking. Lately, I've been failing on the cooking...must improve! :)

:tup: I just don't know that I have the patience to cook. Possibly due to me waiting until the last minute when I'm starving to even think about eating.

I'm a wreck, I know. And being a picky eater is tough too, and embarrassing, but there's nothing I can do to change it.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chuck33079 (Post 2554856)
Recipe stolen. :tup:

Grilling works too. Plus, it lets you weed out any vegitarians or vegans.

:iagree: :icon17: I can grill, I don't often, but I have in the past.

Haboob 11-04-2013 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TXSpeedDemon (Post 2554865)
Speaking as a man who was single from 28-35 all I have to say is:

You guys worried about being single in your 30s don't know how good you've got it!

Think about it. In your 30s you are likely stable in your career or profession. Financially stable enough to get the things you need but not waste time on things you just "want". You're still young enough to be extremely physically fit with only 6 months to 1 year of dedicated working out. You're experienced enough to know how to treat a woman right, how not to embarrass her in front of her fiends, when to back off and when to stand your ground. And you're at a point where you don't have to waste your time chasing tail that you don't really want - unless good tail is all you want.

For the first time in your life you have all the power. You are the ones being sought after and are in a position to make all the choices. You have older post-divorce women available to you, and younger women looking for a good husband in an ever shrinking field of eligible bachelors. Now is the time to flip the script, make the women work for you. Have them convince you why you should go out with them, not the other way around as it has been the previous 30 years. This works. You know why? Cause all of the above is true AND women want what they can't have. If you don't just give yourself to them like every other guy does they begin to wonder why. And they start chasing after you.

So go out, have fun, date and do your thing. Live you life the way you want to and don't settle. When you're ready, find the right person for you.

Speaking of that, as the former creative director for Match.com north america (and Chemistry.com) I can tell you that online dating does work. But you have to think of it like a big bar. There are all sorts of people you could meet there. Some are there looking for a free meal, some a good time and some a long term partner. No matter what you are looking for there are a ton of potentials for you there.

Some pointers for the single over 30 online daters out there:
- the highest rated test profile picture for men over 30 was an upper body, smiling with a pet picture. Dogs rated highest, cats next, then farm animals and reptiles last.
- Men over 30 shouldn't have any shirtless pictures. This was deemed immature by women seeking men over 30
- Your profile write up should be short and sweet. Turns out most people don't read profiles looking for commonalities. Instead they look through profiles for anything that could be used to EXCLUDE someone as a potential partner. With such a large group of options it's easy to pass on someone and move on the the next one. So keep your written profile short and sweet to limit the opportunities for exclusion.
- Women get thousands of emails their first week on a site like Match, and hundreds pretty much every week after. Yours needs to stand out. You can't just compliment a woman anymore. What I liked to do was send a girl a note inviting them to play a game of "2 truths and a lie" I would tell them three things about myself and one would be false. They could pretty much guess the answers by reading my profile. This gave them an opportunity to learn about me and respond if interested. It helped weed out the girls who wouldn't be, and thus not waste my time, and put me in a good position to engage in future conversation. It also starts the mentality of them having to work for me, they have to actively engage in conversation and actually read my profile to be able to have anything to say to me. This works about 90% of the time. Go ahead and try it.

And I am a testament to how well match.com works. I met my wife there and we've been together 3 years, married two, with a beautiful baby daughter. At the time we met she was a model and singer (work-safe pics in the Asian thread). She now owns her own boutique salon. So there are some smart and beautiful ones out there.

Best of luck to you all and remember this could be the best time of your life.

But, if you've been single your whole life it's different. I'm sick of being alone, I'm bored off of my *** anymore.

Chuck33079 11-04-2013 02:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TXSpeedDemon (Post 2554865)
Speaking as a man who was single from 28-35 all I have to say is:

You guys worried about being single in your 30s don't know how good you've got it!

Think about it. In your 30s you are likely stable in your career or profession. Financially stable enough to get the things you need but not waste time on things you just "want". You're still young enough to be extremely physically fit with only 6 months to 1 year of dedicated working out. You're experienced enough to know how to treat a woman right, how not to embarrass her in front of her fiends, when to back off and when to stand your ground. And you're at a point where you don't have to waste your time chasing tail that you don't really want - unless good tail is all you want.

For the first time in your life you have all the power. You are the ones being sought after and are in a position to make all the choices. You have older post-divorce women available to you, and younger women looking for a good husband in an ever shrinking field of eligible bachelors. Now is the time to flip the script, make the women work for you. Have them convince you why you should go out with them, not the other way around as it has been the previous 30 years. This works. You know why? Cause all of the above is true AND women want what they can't have. If you don't just give yourself to them like every other guy does they begin to wonder why. And they start chasing after you.

So go out, have fun, date and do your thing. Live you life the way you want to and don't settle. When you're ready, find the right person for you.

Speaking of that, as the former creative director for Match.com north america (and Chemistry.com) I can tell you that online dating does work. But you have to think of it like a big bar. There are all sorts of people you could meet there. Some are there looking for a free meal, some a good time and some a long term partner. No matter what you are looking for there are a ton of potentials for you there.

Some pointers for the single over 30 online daters out there:
- the highest rated test profile picture for men over 30 was an upper body, smiling with a pet picture. Dogs rated highest, cats next, then farm animals and reptiles last.
- Men over 30 shouldn't have any shirtless pictures. This was deemed immature by women seeking men over 30
- Your profile write up should be short and sweet. Turns out most people don't read profiles looking for commonalities. Instead they look through profiles for anything that could be used to EXCLUDE someone as a potential partner. With such a large group of options it's easy to pass on someone and move on the the next one. So keep your written profile short and sweet to limit the opportunities for exclusion.
- Women get thousands of emails their first week on a site like Match, and hundreds pretty much every week after. Yours needs to stand out. You can't just compliment a woman anymore. What I liked to do was send a girl a note inviting them to play a game of "2 truths and a lie" I would tell them three things about myself and one would be false. They could pretty much guess the answers by reading my profile. This gave them an opportunity to learn about me and respond if interested. It helped weed out the girls who wouldn't be, and thus not waste my time, and put me in a good position to engage in future conversation. It also starts the mentality of them having to work for me, they have to actively engage in conversation and actually read my profile to be able to have anything to say to me. This works about 90% of the time. Go ahead and try it.

And I am a testament to how well match.com works. I met my wife there and we've been together 3 years, married two, with a beautiful baby daughter. At the time we met she was a model and singer (work-safe pics in the Asian thread). She now owns her own boutique salon. So there are some smart and beautiful ones out there.

Best of luck to you all and remember this could be the best time of your life.

:iagree: Whole lotta truth in there.

UNKNOWN_370 11-04-2013 02:58 PM

Dude... I'm a make it short and sweet. Here's some relationship advice.

In a relationship... You can be a good guy, but never be the nice guy, nice guys finish last in relationships. Females get bored fast with nice guys.

Think about what I'm saying bruh.

TXSpeedDemon 11-04-2013 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Haboob (Post 2554875)
But, if you've been single your whole life it's different. I'm sick of being alone, I'm bored off of my *** anymore.


Then do something about it. If what you have been doing your whole life isn't getting you the results you're looking for then change what you are doing. You can't expect a different result if you're only willing to put in the same effort.

If you are looking for dates and to get laid then go do it. Change your game. Instead of coffee or drinks but some effort into dinner. Bring her some flowers. Not something huge that she has to carry around all night, just a small hand held bundle that says you put in some extra effort 90% of other guys won't. Spend some time researching new restaurants in your area and take her to one. Or find a great one that not many people know about. Not someplace like Olive Garden - after you are married you'll have plenty of time for that. And no movie dates, ever. Again, once you have kids that is all you'll have time for.

Do you have a beater car? the first two dates drive that. Then bring out the Z on the 3rd. When the girl asks you if you got a new car you just tell them that you've always had it but only bring it out to people who deserve it. Immediately makes them feel special.

Plan out something to do that they like. Yeah it means you actually have to listen to what they say, and maybe spend a few hours doing something outside your comfort zone. But you'll put them in a position to enjoy what they are doing with someone they like, who they feel actually cares about making them happy.

And do some things for yourself. Not the best looking guy? hit the gym for 6 months. Not the most fashionable? Pick up a GQ and buy some new clothes. Don't have a killer place to bring girls home to? take some time to get your house in order so it feels like a place they could live - so you become something they can't live without.

Again, you just need to elevate your game and increase your effort if what you have been doing hasn't been working.

DIGItonium 11-04-2013 03:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Haboob (Post 2554875)
But, if you've been single your whole life it's different. I'm sick of being alone, I'm bored off of my *** anymore.

Put down that XBOX controller and go out with your single friends! Haha! I'm kidding.

Fun read, everyone. I think I lost a lot of productivity today from this thread. Unfortunately I think I'm catching the bug :(

If I feel well enough this weekend, I'm thinking about a small house party. Hopefully I can up the girl to guy ratio. Basically social events are fun, and it is good practice to have a few drinks to loosen up and talk to random girls. Don't go out with expectations and be spontaneous!

Haboob 11-04-2013 03:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DIGItonium (Post 2554941)
Put down that XBOX controller and go out with your single friends! Haha! I'm kidding.

Fun read, everyone. I think I lost a lot of productivity today from this thread. Unfortunately I think I'm catching the bug :(

If I feel well enough this weekend, I'm thinking about a small house party. Hopefully I can up the girl to guy ratio. Basically social events are fun, and it is good practice to have a few drinks to loosen up and talk to random girls. Don't go out with expectations and be spontaneous!

Haha, I haven't really touched an Xbox stuff in a while!

And, that's the problem: I don't have any single friends anymore, or the one or two I do have don't do anything, but go out and drink etc. or we just go golfing.

I don't drink. I don't babysit (be a DD at the bar) either, because that never ends well.

Everything y'all are saying may be easy for an extroverted person, to just go out and start up a conversation with people, but it really isn't that easy. It's not a switch that can be turned on or off. I have tried, and it only works if it's sports - sports (talking and mainly participating) is the only thing I can turn on the "I don't care" factor for. If I could find a way to bleed that over into social situations, I would be ecstatic.



And apparently when people get married, they lose all of their single female friends. :icon17: Also, it's partly how I grew up. It's difficult to relate to people my age. Older people (my parents age) I don't have a problem with at all, since that's whom I grew up with.

Zbrah 11-04-2013 03:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UNKNOWN_370 (Post 2554909)
Dude... I'm a make it short and sweet. Here's some relationship advice.

In a relationship... You can be a good guy, but never be the nice guy, nice guys finish last in relationships. Females get bored fast with nice guys.

Think about what I'm saying bruh.

:iagree:


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