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-   -   Over 30 and still single, post here. (http://www.the370z.com/lounge-off-topic/81586-over-30-still-single-post-here.html)

Chuck33079 11-04-2013 07:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DIGItonium (Post 2554048)
Why or how do we still talk? Beats me. I finally let go in May by throwing away stuff. A few weeks later she contacted me out of the blue. Since then we've hung out a few times, but that was it. I'm finally trying to resist contacting her again since it's a waste of my time.
Stop it. No more contact with exs. Period. She waived her right to contact you.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DIGItonium (Post 2554226)
It surprised a lot of people. Her friends and family liked me. Even almost 2 years later they try to persuade her to come back to me. We did make a great team, though .
Sounds like you were carrying a bad teammate. When her family and friends say things like that, it means you were saving her from herself and they liked you for that. Still means you're the one getting the short end of the stick.


Quote:
Originally Posted by DIGItonium (Post 2554226)
But I think she continued to force other options away from me, and it didn't work so well. Her former friends tell me she refuses to learn her lessons and repeat her mistakes, and that she's really selfish. Last I talked to her she told me this year has been her worse from getting cited for expired tags, flat tires, financial, health, etc.
Sounding more and more like you've dodged a bullet.

Stop worrying about pressure to get married, or being a certain age. You want to talk pressure? Date a Latina for almost seven years, hit your mid-thirties and make no forward progress whatsoever toward the marriage front. :rofl2:

Go hit the gym to get your self-esteem up since it always takes a hit when a relationship self destructs, go have fun with your hobbies, go out with your friends. Go have a healthy relationship with yourself, and one with someone else will follow it. I've waded through a lot of truly toxic relationships before I figured that one out.
Quote:
Originally Posted by XiP (Post 2553818)
I'll turn 30 in several months and I've never been in a relationship or kissed a girl
We're working on that, even if we have to pool some funds and sent you to the Bunny Ranch.

blackcherry20 11-04-2013 07:59 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chuck33079 (Post 2554258)
Stop it. No more contact with exs. Period. She waived her right to contact you.



Sounds like you were carrying a bad teammate. When her family and friends say things like that, it means you were saving her from herself and they liked you for that. Still means you're the one getting the short end of the stick.



Sounding more and more like you've dodged a bullet.

Stop worrying about pressure to get married, or being a certain age. You want to talk pressure? Date a Latina for almost seven years, hit your mid-thirties and make no forward progress whatsoever toward the marriage front. :rofl2:

Go hit the gym to get your self-esteem up since it always takes a hit when a relationship self destructs, go have fun with your hobbies, go out with your friends. Go have a healthy relationship with yourself, and one with someone else will follow it. I've waded through a lot of truly toxic relationships before I figured that one out.

We're working on that, even if we have to pool some funds and sent you to the Bunny Ranch.
:tup: WOW! lots of good sense in this ^^^
sorry-hope I am not intruding as I am not single.

Chuck33079 11-04-2013 08:03 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by blackcherry20 (Post 2554270)
:tup: WOW! lots of good sense in this ^^^
sorry-hope I am not intruding as I am not single.
Not at all. Getting some advice from women is always helpful when dealing with women.

DIGItonium 11-04-2013 08:19 AM
No problem at all. You're right. Must avoid toxic girls.

One more day to go before I turn 0x20. Man I don't know what to do this week. Last year, barely 6 months moving into my new home, I threw a party with tons of people. The only person left over was a dude who passed out sideways on my bed because his friends left him there. I slept on the couch and drove him home at 8AM the next morning with a hangover. SMH. FIAL. I don't really have the energy to do that. Living alone in this house, it's a lot to handle.

In fact, I wanted to go to KC this weekend in hopes to meet up this girl who is close to my bud's fiancee, but they have engagement stuff to do all weekend.

Chuck33079 11-04-2013 08:23 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DIGItonium (Post 2554294)
Living alone in this house, it's a lot to handle
Being a single guy with a house is like having a secret weapon. Seriously. Keep it clean. Decorate it. Buy curtains (I'm completely serious). Have something alive in it- can be as simple as a houseplant or fish tank.

And if your buddies don't manage to get you out for a birthday and post-breakup issues, you may need new friends as well.

Haboob 11-04-2013 08:33 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chuck33079 (Post 2554296)
Being a single guy with a house is like having a secret weapon. Seriously. Keep it clean. Decorate it. Buy curtains (I'm completely serious). Have something alive in it- can be as simple as a houseplant or fish tank.

And if your buddies don't manage to get you out for a birthday and post-breakup issues, you may need new friends as well.

That's my problem.

My home doesn't really reflect my sense of style. I want to redo it so bad, but I get overwhelmed when I try to even research stuff and just stop. :icon17:

I'm afraid to even ask friends over, because it's just some extra sports stuff I have put up so the walls aren't blank... and it's been five years. :ugh:

Chuck33079 11-04-2013 08:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Haboob (Post 2554314)
That's my problem.

My home doesn't really reflect my sense of style. I want to redo it so bad, but I get overwhelmed when I try to even research stuff and just stop. :icon17:

I'm afraid to even ask friends over, because it's just some extra sports stuff I have put up so the walls aren't blank... and it's been five years. :ugh:
That's a problem when you bring a woman back to the house. It can be a bachelor pad without looking like a college apartment. Recruit a gay friend or woman to help. Paint is cheap. Color is a good thing.

Women have a mental picture of what a "single guy's house" looks like inside, and it's not flattering. You want them to be pleasantly surprised when they walk in. Well decorated, but not to the point where she wonders if you're gay. Clean, but not "Serial Killer Clean". Sports stuff is ok, but also have some art. Doesn't have to be expensive. I've got some pieces from Target and Bed Bath and Beyond that looks fine. Curtains. For real. Throw pillows.

Haboob 11-04-2013 08:53 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chuck33079 (Post 2554341)
That's a problem when you bring a woman back to the house. It can be a bachelor pad without looking like a college apartment. Recruit a gay friend or woman to help. Paint is cheap. Color is a good thing.

Women have a mental picture of what a "single guy's house" looks like inside, and it's not flattering. You want them to be pleasantly surprised when they walk in. Well decorated, but not to the point where she wonders if you're gay. Clean, but not "Serial Killer Clean". Sports stuff is ok, but also have some art. Doesn't have to be expensive. I've got some pieces from Target and Bed Bath and Beyond that looks fine. Curtains. For real. Throw pillows.

Yeah, there's color (every room in the house is a different color).

I've gotten some free artsy stuff from friends that's just sitting there atm, just doesn't match what I have. I need to get some new furniture, new floors, paint (I want a diff color, maybe two)... and it just all adds up.

I've been told I don't need to do it all at once, but it's hard to not just want it all done at the same time. I'm not going on my vacation, so maybe I'll spend some of that money on a remodel, being that I can't move out of this house for a while.

Chuck33079 11-04-2013 08:57 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Haboob (Post 2554355)
Yeah, there's color (every room in the house is a different color).

I've gotten some free artsy stuff from friends that's just sitting there atm, just doesn't match what I have. I need to get some new furniture, new floors, paint (I want a diff color, maybe two)... and it just all adds up.

I've been told I don't need to do it all at once, but it's hard to not just want it all done at the same time. I'm not going on my vacation, so maybe I'll spend some of that money on a remodel, being that I can't move out of this house for a while.
Ok, when you first described it the place sounded like my buddy's house. Nothing but Longhorn gear on the walls, one chair and a couch. Massive home theater system and TV. :rofl2:

Renovations are always worth the money. It makes your house worth more, and can get you laid in the meantime. What's not to like? :rofl2:

DIGItonium 11-04-2013 08:58 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chuck33079 (Post 2554296)
Being a single guy with a house is like having a secret weapon. Seriously. Keep it clean. Decorate it. Buy curtains (I'm completely serious). Have something alive in it- can be as simple as a houseplant or fish tank.

And if your buddies don't manage to get you out for a birthday and post-breakup issues, you may need new friends as well.
Oh I've decorated mine alright - 80" Sharp (I want moar!), 7.1ch setup, full fridge in the wet bar area, and [drunk] karaoke haha. The basement is like a night club when the music hits hard. For awhile people kept looking for excuses to come over. If I do have a get together at my house this week, it'll be much smaller than last year's. It took me 3 days to clean up the house, and I had to shampoo the carpet as well. Also, there's definitely a gaming PC hooked up for COD goodness in the basement. :) It's basically a bachelor's pad haha.

The house is fairly plain, though. I prefer not to spend money on full decorations till I settle with someone. I'm already regretting some color choices with some of my blinds and living room sofa. I did do various LED mods around the house including the address block almost all bulbs around the house.

I'm seriously itching to leave town, though.

blackcherry20 11-04-2013 09:00 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Haboob (Post 2554314)
That's my problem.

My home doesn't really reflect my sense of style. I want to redo it so bad, but I get overwhelmed when I try to even research stuff and just stop. :icon17:

I'm afraid to even ask friends over, because it's just some extra sports stuff I have put up so the walls aren't blank... and it's been five years. :ugh:
:tup: Start with something small that strikes your fancy and decorate around that. could be as simple as a throw pillow, or a framed photo or painting...anything...just add stuff as you come across it. get a frined to help you-somebody who has a cool decor that you like. just gotta ask...

kenchan 11-04-2013 09:02 AM
do you guys do much online dating? does that work at all or? :confused:

i ask because when i was young, there was barely any internet. :facepalm:
world wide web was a mistery when it was introduced. 14.4 dial up anyone? :ugh:

Chuck33079 11-04-2013 09:08 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by DIGItonium (Post 2554371)
The house is fairly plain, though. I prefer not to spend money on full decorations till I settle with someone. I'm already regretting some color choices with some of my blinds and living room sofa. I did do various LED mods around the house including the address block almost all bulbs around the house.
With all your new free time, decorating will be easy. Paint is cheap. Women want to see domestic potential in you. ;)

Quote:
Originally Posted by blackcherry20 (Post 2554375)
get a frined to help you-somebody who has a cool decor that you like. just gotta ask...
This is where the gay friend comes in. Every straight man needs a gay friend. Stereotyping heavily, but they're great with decorations and clothes, and they are un-freaking-believable wingmen. Don't be afraid to accompany them to gay bars, either. There are straight women there accompanying their gay friends.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kenchan (Post 2554379)
do you guys do much online dating? does that work at all or? :confused:

i ask because when i was young, there was barely any internet. :facepalm:
world wide web was a mistery when it was introduced. 14.4 dial up anyone? :ugh:
I tried it back in the early 2000s. I got laid a lot, but I didn't meet anyone I wanted to know for any reason but sex. It seems to have changed, though. Two of my best friends are with women they met online, and they're cool chicks.

XiP 11-04-2013 09:11 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by kenchan (Post 2554379)
do you guys do much online dating? does that work at all or? :confused:

i ask because when i was young, there was barely any internet. :facepalm:
world wide web was a mistery when it was introduced. 14.4 dial up anyone? :ugh:

i started on 28.8k dialup
i remember drooling to get an ISDN connection (128k), it was like holy cow that's fast!!!
thanks for giving me a nostalgia trip... doom deathmatches over dialup on my 33mhz 8mb ram system lol! :D

kenchan 11-04-2013 09:12 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chuck33079 (Post 2554390)
I tried it back in the early 2000s. I got laid a lot, but I didn't meet anyone I wanted to know for any reason but sex. It seems to have changed, though. Two of my best friends are with women they met online, and they're cool chicks.
huh... interesting. *kenchan scratching chin*

yah, i know a few people that mentioned they met online. and they have a nice family and all.

and wat cracked me up was the folks that married their long time gf's pretty much all divorced. :icon17: ok, not a laughing matter ..but the point is, it seems there's more and more quality people are online and are willing to reach out. :)


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