The customer is not always right

TX_370

Thank You For Calling Planet Of The Apes
Technical Support | Columbus, OH, USA

Me: “Thank you for calling tech support. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: “Hello?”

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: “Hello?”

Customer: “Hey Jon, check this out! The machine says hello back when I say hello!”

Me: “I’m not a machine, sir.”

Customer: “OH MY GOD, IT’S ADDRESSING ME!”

Me: “No, sir, I’m not a machine!”

Customer: “Oh… so you’re one of them human peoples?”

Me: “Yes, sir, I am a human peoples.”

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An Inconvenient Convenience
Bank | Cape Cod, MA, USA

Me: “Thank you for calling [bank], how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I just got my statement in the mail and it says at the bottom to call this number for questions?”

Me: “Yes, that’s right.”

(A long pause follows.)

Customer: “OK, so…what are the questions?”

Me: “No ma’am, that’s in case you had any questions about your statement that you wanted to ask us.”

Customer: “Oh OK, good. Because I really don’t have the time to be answering your questions.”

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I’ll Go Where He’s Going
Travel Agents | London, UK

Me: “Thank you for calling [travel agency]. Which brochure would you like to order?”

Customer: “I’d like to order ten virgins, please.”

Me: “Pardon me?”

Customer: “Ten virgins, please–”

(There’s a moment of silence; the customer and I both realize at the same time that he meant to say ‘ten Virgin Holiday Brochures’. To keep the conversation from going awkward, I chime in.)

Me: “How fresh would you like your virgins, sir?”

Customer: “This year’s editions will be fine, thanks!”



Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes

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