Joke of the Day

Mike@Blackline · 08-18-2009, 08:19 PM

haha to both of those last ones

XwChriswX · 08-19-2009, 02:50 PM

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband,
although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and
party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll
be right back."

"Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife. "I'm
going to the bar, pretty face. I' m going to have a beer."

The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to
the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12
different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could
think of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they
have frozen glasses..." He didn't get to finish the sentence, because
the wife interrupted him by saying,

"You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" She took a huge beer mug out
of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the
bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't
be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?"

"You want hors d'oeuv res, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and
took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in
blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

"But my sweet honey... at the bar... You know...there's swearing, dirty
words and all that..."

"You want dirty words, Dickhead? Drink your ******* beer in your
goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherfucking snacks, because you are
married now, and you aren't going anywhere! Got it, *******?" and,
they lived happily ever after.

cow · 08-19-2009, 02:51 PM

Two muffins are in an oven.

The first muffin says, "God it's hot in here!"

The second muffin replies, "HOLY SH IT!! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

08-18-2009, 08:19 PM	#1 (permalink)
Mike@Blackline Enthusiast Member Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: USA Posts: 390 Drives: Z Rep Power: 298	haha to both of those last ones __________________ Current Alliance BBK Sale, FREE PC Option, 370Z DiscountCLICK HERE for info!

08-19-2009, 02:50 PM	#2 (permalink)
XwChriswX WFLYIDNNE Join Date: Jul 2009 Location: In The Fastlane Posts: 50,648 Drives: 02 GDB WRX Rep Power: 454	How Marriage Works... A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies. So, he said to his new wife, "Honey, I'll be right back." "Where are you going, coochy cooh?" asked the wife. "I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I' m going to have a beer." The wife said, "You want a beer, my love?" She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer, brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc. The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, "Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses..." He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, "You want a frozen glass, puppy face?" She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it. The husband, looking a bit pale, said, "Yes, tootsie roll, but at the bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?" "You want hors d'oeuv res, poochi pooh?" She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc. "But my sweet honey... at the bar... You know...there's swearing, dirty words and all that..." "You want dirty words, Dickhead? Drink your ***** beer in your goddamn frozen mug and eat your motherfucking snacks, because you are married now, and you aren't going anywhere! Got it, ***?" and, they lived happily ever after. __________________ Bonnie - Stage 2, Audio build coming this fall! R.I.P. Abby 3/29/10 - 3/30/14**

08-19-2009, 02:51 PM	#3 (permalink)
cow Lounge Moderator Join Date: Nov 2008 Location: Louisiana Posts: 3,441 Drives: Toyota Avalon Rep Power: 269	Two muffins are in an oven. The first muffin says, "God it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "HOLY SH IT!! A TALKING MUFFIN!" __________________ I never bought a 370Z