Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?
A: Trustworthy

Yet again more proof women are evil lol

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath
and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after
mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Q: What is the difference between men and women?
A: A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants
every woman to satisfy his one need.

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"

What if you've got the high pitched squeaks?! :icon17:

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I always had something else to take care of first, the truck, the car, fishing, always something more important to me.

Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point.

When I arrived home one day, I found her seated in the tall grass, busily snipping away with a tiny pair of sewing scissors. I watched silently for a short time and then went into the house. I was gone only a few minutes. When I came out again I handed her a toothbrush.

"When you finish cutting the grass," I said, "you might as well sweep the sidewalk."

The doctors say I will walk again, but I will always have a limp.

lol idk.. might be a dilemma

oh man, i could make such a religiously inappropriate comment for an answer to this one...

Do it!!!! :stirthepot:

i'm already rofl'ing

Marketing

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and say, "I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Direct Marketing

You're at a party with some friends and see a gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her, points at you and says, "He's fantastic in bed."

That's Advertising

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to her and get her telephone number. The next day you call saying, "Hi, I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Telemarketing

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You get up, straighten your tie, walk up and pour her a drink. You open the door for her, pick up her bag after she drops it, offer her a ride, and then say, "By the way, I'm fantastic in bed."

That's Public Relations

You see a gorgeous girl at a party. She walks up to you and says, I hear you're fantastic in bed."

That's Brand Recognition

lol nice one frost