F My Life!
 

Anybody else love this site?

FMyLife - FML : Your everyday life stories.

Today, I pulled up to a stoplight and proceeded to blow past the car beside me to merge into one lane. About 30 seconds later, I ran out of gas right in front of them. We were on a bridge, and I had to push my car all the way across. FML

Today, after a nap, I went to scratch my eye and felt what I presumed to be a clump of mascara on my eyelash. I didn't wear mascara today. It was a tick. FML

Today, I was helping some mental health patients at work, I spent 20 mins to fail to connect the DVD player to the TV and went back to make them something to eat. I came back into the room after 5 mins and one of the patients had connected it for himself. He has a profound learning disability. FML

rofl.
The first thing I saw was pretty good:

Today, I collided heads at a soccer game and needed 13 stitches in my head. I texted all my contacts to let them know I was in the hospital. I got back one response that said "bitch got what you deserve" it was from my cousin. No one else ever texted me back. FML

http://www.gixxer.com/forums/images/smilies/lol.gif

that was HELLA good..

LOL...

"Today, I thought I could stay on the phone and ho to the bathroom without him noticing. My mom knocks on the door and without even thinking, I yelled 'I'M ON THE TOILET!' He said 'ew..' FML"

hahaha...that's too random

Today, I was working at a grocery store and a man came to my register to ask for the price of a mop. I took the mop from him to scan it without realizing the pole was between his legs. I hit him in the crotch with the pole. FML


dunno why it looks like link........weird

Today, I was feeling really down. So I texted my boyfriend and asked him to tell me why he loves me, thinking he would cheer me up. His response? "Don't bug me with this stupid **** anymore. You always ask such dumb questions." FML

Today, I did my boyfriend a favour and did his laundry since he slept over. I washed his whites and my nice shirts with bleach. They came out pink. I found the offending red thong. It wasn't mine. I essentially ruined $200 worth of my clothes to find out my boyfriend was cheating on me. FML

Today, I found out my parents joined the mile high club. While I was on the plane. FML


hahahahaha!

Have seen this website awhile ago, it gets pretty good, I try not to read it to often so when I do view it there are plenty of good stories. Great morning read before work if your morning has been pretty "bleh."

hilarious!

There is another popular site that is quite similar. Funny stuff.

texts from last night

"I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay " :icon17:

:bowrofl::bowrofl:

(802): OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.

anyone here make an account with FML??

These 2 might know each other.

"Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. "

"Today I was shaving my balls with a blade razor because my electric trimmer had died and I had a big date with the girl of my dreams. I moved too quickly and accidentally knicked a vein in my scrotum. I had to hold gauze over my balls until the paramedics arrived. "

hahaha yes i love that site, go read the new ones every day lol, some are fake i think tho cuz if read enough of em you notice some repititions or wery similar ones

In '05 I saved up enough to buy my 350z. Went to the dealership, bought her... and a week later lost my job and had to choose between rent & my car. I decided I couldn't wash dishes and clothes in my car...