Is rapidly losing his site due to obsessive masturbation and still won't quit.

blinded his girlfriend on 1 eye

Used to be ^ gorlfriend until she dumped him for me.

his new girlfriend wears an eye patch
and dresses like a pirate

Knows I like kinky Sh!t

recently rejected by eHarmony
for answering a trick question wrong

eHarmony: whats your favorite sexual position?

Lemers: i like them all. kinkier the better

eHarmony: thank you for your time. let us show you to the door

Hey eharmony said that was confidential. ^ reviews eharmony rejected applicants because ^ is settling for the worst of the worst.

should know I met three women and a sheep through eHarmony with one leading to marriage

Virginia, where the men are men and the sheep are scared.

is not friendly

is very kind

knows im tired

looks like 100 years felt on him

Thinks I'm full of piss and vinegar

knows he is