Pantyhose used as a mask in your last bank robbery

q-tips (used)

Ratty looking skivs (of hers)

spent shell casings

T-Shirt from the Milli Vanilli concert you went to in ‘89

underwear, the ones you wore under your jeans to the strip joint for your buddies stag, that mysteriously ended up with hot red lipstick and ladies perfume scent on them.:eek:

Velvet Elvis painting that your ex brother-in-law gave you for Christmas the year he passed out under the tree

Wayne Newton's 5 easy steps to botox injection hand books

X-rated Super 8 films from the 1970's

Your inlaws for being too ignorant and obnoxious during the holidays.

Z's rear tires.

Ashley... when her name is Madison.

B!tch

Can you stop talking for just a few minutes? Trying to think over here...

Damn, you're fat.

Everything about your mom disgusts me

Friday night I'm going out drinking.

Go get your hair done and iron your clothes, you look like a bloody slob.

How many times must I explain the theory of relativity to you?

In my honest opinion honey, those jeans don't make you look fat. They actually make you look obese.

Just keep your uninformed opinions to yourself.

Kiss my a$$.

Loving that bikni on the neighbor girl. (as you are glancing over to the neighbors backyard pool)

Move. (when she's coming in for a smooch when you are watching tv)

NO! I don't love you!

Oh my Allah shut up wontcha?

Please lose 30 pounds for god sakes.... I feel like I’m walking around with a farm animal...

Quit cha b!tchin'!

Remind me to pack Viagra before I go on my business trip.

Shut the f**k up already!

Tonight let's play "slave-girl from Thailand" again.

Unbelievable!!! How many times do I need to tell you that your fat @$$ mother and slutty sister are not welcome in my house?

Very nice muffin top you have there...

WOW!!! Who's the smoking hot blonde with the big cans in your office?

X-rays of your multiple fractures resulting from you learning how to ride a motorcycle make me laugh.

Your breath could use a little touch up babe... the dog is even starting to gag...

Zzzzzzzzz... when she's up for sexy time.

New Topic: Things kids complain about.

Alphabet and/or arithmetic