The backstory on this is one is a tale of staggering incompetence and a lack of consideration for others by another person... anyway, I'll spare all the drama and just bump the thread.
On the bright side, the bumper is functional and the damage is towards the bottom, but the easiest fix at this point is just to swap it out and maintain Siddhartha like levels of composure...
Thanks!
EDIT: Oh, ****... I forgot there is another "MB" paint code (the black is called "magnetic black", right, or am I losin' it?)
Er... mods, kindly change to "Black" instead of MB for clarification. Sorry, gents. long day here...