Speaking as a man who was single from 28-35 all I have to say is:
You guys worried about being single in your 30s don't know how good you've got it!
Think about it. In your 30s you are likely stable in your career or profession. Financially stable enough to get the things you need but not waste time on things you just "want". You're still young enough to be extremely physically fit with only 6 months to 1 year of dedicated working out. You're experienced enough to know how to treat a woman right, how not to embarrass her in front of her fiends, when to back off and when to stand your ground. And you're at a point where you don't have to waste your time chasing tail that you don't really want - unless good tail is all you want.
For the first time in your life you have all the power. You are the ones being sought after and are in a position to make all the choices. You have older post-divorce women available to you, and younger women looking for a good husband in an ever shrinking field of eligible bachelors. Now is the time to flip the script, make the women work for you. Have them convince you why you should go out with them, not the other way around as it has been the previous 30 years. This works. You know why? Cause all of the above is true AND women want what they can't have. If you don't just give yourself to them like every other guy does they begin to wonder why. And they start chasing after you.
So go out, have fun, date and do your thing. Live you life the way you want to and don't settle. When you're ready, find the right person for you.
Speaking of that, as the former creative director for Match.com north america (and Chemistry.com) I can tell you that online dating does work. But you have to think of it like a big bar. There are all sorts of people you could meet there. Some are there looking for a free meal, some a good time and some a long term partner. No matter what you are looking for there are a ton of potentials for you there.
Some pointers for the single over 30 online daters out there:
- the highest rated test profile picture for men over 30 was an upper body, smiling with a pet picture. Dogs rated highest, cats next, then farm animals and reptiles last.
- Men over 30 shouldn't have any shirtless pictures. This was deemed immature by women seeking men over 30
- Your profile write up should be short and sweet. Turns out most people don't read profiles looking for commonalities. Instead they look through profiles for anything that could be used to EXCLUDE someone as a potential partner. With such a large group of options it's easy to pass on someone and move on the the next one. So keep your written profile short and sweet to limit the opportunities for exclusion.
- Women get thousands of emails their first week on a site like Match, and hundreds pretty much every week after. Yours needs to stand out. You can't just compliment a woman anymore. What I liked to do was send a girl a note inviting them to play a game of "2 truths and a lie" I would tell them three things about myself and one would be false. They could pretty much guess the answers by reading my profile. This gave them an opportunity to learn about me and respond if interested. It helped weed out the girls who wouldn't be, and thus not waste my time, and put me in a good position to engage in future conversation. It also starts the mentality of them having to work for me, they have to actively engage in conversation and actually read my profile to be able to have anything to say to me. This works about 90% of the time. Go ahead and try it.
And I am a testament to how well match.com works. I met my wife there and we've been together 3 years, married two, with a beautiful baby daughter. At the time we met she was a model and singer (work-safe pics in the Asian thread). She now owns her own boutique salon. So there are some smart and beautiful ones out there.
Best of luck to you all and remember this could be the best time of your life.
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