I'm in the "Buy Her An Auto And Teach Her To Use A Manual Too" camp. Knowing how to drive a stick is a valuable skill but, as others have pointed out, it is no longer as important as it used to be. 30 years ago, I'd have said she NEEDED to know how to shift - not so much nowadays.
As far as manual-gives-more-control: maybe if you are an experienced driver but not so much for a beginner. When my daughter started driving, we got her an auto (her preference) and I taught her how to drive a manual using my old Mustang. She's no expert with a manual but she can at least drive one if the need arises.
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