Mr&Mrs

Excuse bad typing and grammer trying to make it brief as possible.

Just watched the first Fast and Furious movie (first mistake) midnight release. Leaving and see a 55 gallon bag of popcorn, I take it (second mistake). Give a friend a ride home that I have not seen in years (third mistake). At the time could not afford a fast car, I drove a truck. In comes my bright idea for the giant bag of popcorn.

I throw it in the back rip the top off and commence to hauling *** home. Im doing about 95 MPH (thats what the truck topped out at) in a 45. We are having a blast laughing our a**es off. How I didnt crash I dont know because I was drving looking backwards out the window.

I look up see a red light no cars coming so I blow through it (another bad idea) this is also where a cop was sitting off to the side.

At this point I start to see traffic ahead so I commence to driving like the movie in a truck mind you. I catch 3 red lights that I actually stop for due to traffic take a long sweeping right turn and decide its time to slow down (probably another bad choice this is where I see lights).

I think to myself no way hes after me im going to pull over so he can get by, DOH! He pulls in behind me and I still cant compute that it was me he was after because I never saw lights.

Cop: *with gun in hand* HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM!
Me : *gun scaring me* I like hang halfway out the window
Cop: WHY DID YOU RUN FROM ME?
Me : I never saw you im sorry dont shoot me
Cop: *starts calming down* Why did you run from me?
Me : I swear I never saw you I got over to let you by
Cop: You wish
Cop: know why I chased you?
Me : *cant think of any one thing* I say what didnt I do?
Cop: I have been chasing you since you ran that red light.
Me : *being a smart **** Wow I stopped at 3 red lights after that.
Cop: Cop: You were going so fast in between I could not catch you. Why didnt you stop?
Me : *smart a** again* Guess I didnt feel like stopping.
Cop: Licens etc etc

While waiting for the cop to come back my friend begins to tell me he has warrants and hopes he doesnt ask him for I.D.

Cop: *walking back notices whats left of the popcorn* whats this? he says
Me : Popcorn
Cop: what are you doing with it?
Me : I guess im going to eat it.
Cop: Get out of the car and tie it up now!
Me : *tried to tie it* I start laughing because it was ripped to shreds and I couldnt tie it.
Cop: *pushes me out of the way* folds what he can and flips it upside down.

He then goes on to tell me what all he "could write me up for" basically saying I should be in the back of his car. After all was said and done he only gave me a ticket for running the red light.

There is alot I left out especially with my buddy and the warrants because the cop did ask for his I.D, but I tried to keep this brief and failed. I have another good one with a police helicopter and 8 police cars I will post tomorrow I dont want to type that up after this, it isnt as funny anyway.

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