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Old 07-10-2009, 03:40 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Default Tattoos people will regret in 20 years....

This article is going to take a look at 5 Tattoos People Will Regret In 20 Years; permanent artistic etchings that probably seemed like cool ideas at the time, but in a few decades will be a constant reminder of how life is full of mistakes.

#5– The 8-Bit Mario Neck Tattoo

I have a few friends who have video game tattoos, none are really over the top; they’re mostly simple images of Mario or Link strategically placed on parts of their body where they can easily be hidden when needed.

The neck is not one of those body parts.

I’ve found that most kids who get video game tattoos get them while in College, because when you’re in the dorm and are thinking of creative tattoos to get, the first place your mind goes is to your childhood; and if you were attending College in the late 90’s or early 2000’s, your childhood probably consisted of a Nintendo and a few Italian plumbers.

Personally, I have no issue with video game tattoos, as many of those can be seen as sentimental. Lots of people associate Mario or Luigi with their childhood, so they get a tattoo to remind them of that; the trick is to make sure that tattoo is on a part of your body where you’re not going to have an issue getting a job 20 years from now when you can no longer spend your Wednesday afternoons eating Ramen Noodles and playing Golden Eye on your old N64.

There is no doubt in my mind that in 20 years this dude is going to regret this tattoo. Not because it’s Mario and Luigi, and not because it’s a poorly drawn Mario and Luigi; he’s going to regret this because no matter where he goes for the rest of his life, the first thing people are going to see is this on his neck.

Sure, that may be a great conversation starter in College, but when you’re a 45 year old guy who realizes that elastic waist khakis are much more comfortable than skinny jeans, you’re probably going to regret having two video game icons etched to your neck.

#4– The Armpit Shark Eating A Baby

I’ve come to the conclusion that most women get their tattoos spontaneously.

While a lot of guys will put thought and time into conceiving their tattoo designs, regardless of how ridiculous some are, women will drink a few bottles of wine and then start screeching about how “great an idea it would be if we all got tattoos”.

Normally this type of conversation ends with women permanently scarring their body with hearts or roses, or in this case, a shark eating a baby.

I understand that tattoos are supposed to be personal and sentimental to the person receiving it; while a tattoo may not have a specific meaning to me, it may have a deep and understated meaning to the person who gets it. That being said, I can’t see any deep philosophic meaning behind covering your armpit with a shark eating a baby.

I don’t know the girl in this picture, but barring her not having any legs or breasts, I can safely say she’s a relatively attractive woman; that’s the main reason I think she’s going to regret this tattoo.

Everyone has that stage in their life where they’re rebellious. They shave their head into mohawks, get piercings, and of course tattoos. If a woman gets a rebellious tramp stamp, she can cover it up if she needs to as she gets older, but when a woman covers the part of her body where her arm connects to her shoulder with a tattoo of a shark eating a baby, there’s not much she can do to cover it up 20 years from now.

For all I know this woman may spend the rest of her life in social situations where the tattoo is not a hindrance. Maybe she’ll become a groupie for a rock band, or change her name to Candy and start stripping for singles and shots of Crown, but seeing that most people don’t go either of those routes, I can easily see this woman settling down, getting married, and having a few kids. Kids who will inevitably ask their Mother what the deal is with the grotesque tattoo covering her armpit.

She may not regret that tattoo immediately, but in 20 years when she’s trying on wedding dresses, or hanging out with 40 year old soccer Mom’s while wearing a spaghetti tank top, she’s probably going to feel a bit embarrassed, and regret that time she drank a bottle of wine with her friends and decided getting a shark tattooed on her armpit was a good idea.

#3 – “Tattoo” Tattoo

I can envision what the conversation was like when this dude decided to get this tattoo.

He was probably sitting around the dorm with his friends, drinking some beer, smoking some herb, and made the off-the-cuff remark, “Know what would be kick-***, if I got a tattoo of the word ‘Tattoo’. Get it? Wouldn’t that be awesome?”

I’m pretty sure after that statement was made, his friends unanimously agreed that that would be an awesome idea, thus planting the seed in his head that he would reach infinite levels of cool if he actually went through with getting it done.

One trip to the tattoo parlor later, he has this.

Now, I’m not gonna’ lie, this is a pretty creative idea for a tattoo. As someone who enjoys dry wit, I find the concept behind this tattoo funny, but while the concept is humorous, actually getting it is probably not the best idea.

Sure, in College you’re probably “that guy”. You’re the life of the party, the dude who’s always looking to buy another round of shots, the guy who sleeps with random girls, but always finds time to hang out with his buddies. I’m sure when you show this tattoo off at frat parties you’re usually greeted with high fives and photos taken for various Facebook pages, but in 20 years when you’re at the beach with your wife and kid, and your 13 year old daughter doesn’t want to be near you because you have the word “Tattoo” inked to your arm, you’re probably going to wish you didn’t talk about tattoos while high on some cheap College schwag.

But hey, look on the plus side, you were the cool guy at College !!!

#2 – Literal Tramp Stamp

This tramp stamp is the same type of humor as the before mentioned “Tattoo” Tattoo, meaning it’s a creative idea in theory, but probably something you’re going to regret getting 20 years from now.

I think the main reason this is a regretful tattoo is because it’s on a dude. If this were a chick, she could chalk it up to thinking it was a funny idea in College, but a guy is most likely going to wish he never got this when he gets his first serious girlfriend.

I have to imagine the first conversation about this tattoo with the woman you may spend the rest of your life as being pretty awkward. There’s not many ways to justify getting a red stamp of the word “TRAMP” on your tailbone if you're a guy, and I’m fairly confident getting it would cause most women to think twice about whether or not you’re the type of guy they want to be serious with.

You see, most women like their guys to be somewhat manly, and they don’t want to be embarrassed when he takes his shirt off in front of her friends; when your boyfriend and potential husband has an ironic tramp stamp permanently etched to his back, it’s almost a given that your friends are going to be very judgmental, and will constantly make you feel inadequate about your choice in men.

Plus, there’s the inevitable disappointment the kid’s Father must feel.

No Dad worth his salt wants his son to walk around with a tattoo in a spot where most women get butterflies or hearts, because that’s a tough thing to justify with his friends at the sports bar. His friends would probably assume that his son likes the music of Clay Aiken, and spends his weekends dressing up in frilly pink dresses. No Dad wants the fruit of his loins to have that sort of reputation.

So, in short, this tattoo is regrettable because it would make his girlfriend break up with him and his Father cry.

Also, this portion of the article sucked, I’m well aware of that.

#1 – The 18 Year Old Girl Who Got 56 Stars On Her Face

I don’t think I need to go into great detail as to why a somewhat attractive 18 year old girl will regret getting 56 stars tattooed to her face for the rest of her life, therefore I’m just going to direct you to this link, and this link, which tell the story of Kimberly; the girl who’s face is now scarred because her teenage mind thought this would be a good idea.

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