Next Generation Nissan Z to Debut World's First Fusion-Powered Sports Car
- Joint Venture with the KGB and Gestapo
- Unprecedented Performance
- Affordability unmatched by mere mortal fighter jets
- V-Motion front grill
- Starting MSRP of $60,000*
NASHVILLE, Tenn. - Nissan dealers across the country are preparing their showrooms for the debut of the next generation Nissan Z, slated for Winter 2070 - the 100th anniversary of the original Z car.
Engineers from around the world collaborated on this world-ending, affordable successor to the 370Z - a car known for its groundbreaking Concentric Slave Cylinder design, G-Force sensing fuel system (with safety shutoff valve during sweeping right turns), and a motor with the ability to boil damn near any petroleum-based lubricant this side of the ice age.
The first of its kind, the new Z (internal designation "Homer") will utilize the first ever fusion reactor core designed for an automobile. With a 0-60 time of 3.2 nanoseconds (traction limited), this is the first ever Z car to literally obliterate the competition at the drag strip. Top speed is somewhere between 150 and 150,000 kW, depending on environmental factors.
Interior accommodations include a sparkling water dispenser in place of the glove box, built in self-towing package that will instantly transport the vehicle to the nearest body of water in the event of reactor core decay, and traditional 3-pod gauge setup, complete with clocks for three time-zones of your choosing.
Technological enhancements include Nuke-Navigation, which utilizes google apps-to-phone to pinpoint the location of other nuclear-powered objects in the area. A limited Fukushima edition Z will feature a three-stage neon green exterior finish and literally zero safety features whatsoever.
At the time of this press release, the 2070 Nissan Z is still pending CARB legalization.
