Why is your wife on my Z?
 

(The note I wrote to leave on a car if I could have found the right one)

"....Why is your wife on my Z?"

That was what I was beginning to shout out as I was running across the two parking lots back to my car.

You see - I park far away like most people that like their cars. I had stopped at a tire shop to see about shoes I need to get for my new rims.

A couple of adjacent lots over was a restaurant. I walked over to get some coffee to go, happy with the nice secluded parking space I had obtained.

As I am paying for my coffee I noticed the two of you walking up to my car. It looked like you might have been with another few couples. Now my "far parking" job has become a family event. - Just not my family or anyone else's that I know.

I didn't particularly like seeing people peering in my windows and walking around my new pride and joy. Hopefully you can see how that makes one uncomfortable.

Being a car person I understand wanting to see a new vehicle up close. But car dealerships can help with that - It's their job. Plus I hear this interwebs is a great way to see things you otherwise would not.

Really, what set me running was when I glanced over and your wife was posing on my car. Maybe my car will show up on Facebook and I can "Like" my own car in your photo.

I don't know what it was about my ride that moved you to an impromptu photo shoot reminiscent of a Seinfeld episode. You obviously don't own a Z or you wouldn't be going nuts over mine like it was a space Ferrari driven by Elvis.

You also didn't do anything I would expect a Z-owner to do, like focus attention on my 2013 front bumper because it doesn't have painted fangs but has LEDs.

While I should be flattered that you all found my stock-*** 2013 base sexy enough for your wife to rub on like she owned it, It kind of bothers me that neither of you has any respect for the vehicle or its owner.

I couldn't completely see what your wife was wearing (or not.) Only that it looked like she was all over my car. I didn't know if she had some zipper or buckle laden outfit scratching the hell out of my paint as she attempted to seduce the random 370z you happened across while out walking.

The other thing is that - I don't know who the hell you people are. But I would like to now. Because if it is ok to touch stuff you like that doesn't belong to you... I hope you invite me over for dinner so I can drag my sack across your beautiful kitchen. It would be my way of saying I like your granite counter tops. Then I can post it to Facebook and even though it is not mine to be proud of, pray that it makes me cool by proxy because I rubbed my balls on it.

FYI - Nissan lowered the pricing on the Z. Please get your own so you can do what you want to it and on it. Please stay off of mine.

Love - Zero.

CLASSIC!!! :nutswinger:

Oh my goodness I am dying laughing over this post OP....hilarious.

There, fixed it for 'ya! :D

Thanks for the laugh OP, great read :tiphat:.

I hope she didn't didn't leave a snail trail. That can ruin paint too.

OP: Were they gone by the time you ran over?

For some reason I thought you said,

Were they gone by the time you ran [them] over?

Lol!

Hi Mt Tam I am. Yes unfortunately they were gone. I parked in a business/industrial lot (think of your typical lot in a business park) there were cars around - likely commercial, as well as some tree cover. They could have just been crossing the lot on foot or had gotten into one of the few random cars in the area. I walked around when I got there and no-one was to be found. So I scribbled my frustration down anyway.

Oh and I seem to have gotten lucky. No visible scratches but there is this weird smudge on my hatch that I couldn't get off with a microfiber towel. It is kind of oily like sun-tan lotion. Instead of coming off with the towel it just moved around. It could be from a boob or a hand. Hopefully a wash and some Meguir's spray detailer will remove the "trail."

Man, I really don't understand what goes through people's heads anymore.

Could be worse though - I was driving through Atlanta once in the late 90s (about 4am) and coming off the interstate was a photo-shoot of a couple screwing on a car in a parking lot. There were some of those super bright lights the professional photographers used. So I guess they were shooting a porno...

Wouldn't want to have to clean that one up ha ha. Bad enough that my 370 had to go through this minor "bad touch" trauma. Maybe she will feel better once I order her FI exhaust.:yum:

Random 4am porno shoot...hilarious! Why don't I every get to see that shyt :rofl2:

heads would be rolling!

:tup:

Haha great post xD

I feel for you..... Good job with the humor though. Love the part about the table