Lame excuses when calling out at work
 

I work with people quite a bit and handle a lot of people issues everyday. When it comes to call outs or call offs, i thought I heard all the excuses you can think of. Here's a survey conducted by a respectable people solutions company.
What was lamest you sver heard or what was you're lamest excuse ever?

CareerBuilder released the results of its annual survey of the most outrageous excuses workers gave when calling in sick. Nearly one-thinrd (32 percent) of the workers who participated in the survey said they called in sick when not actually ill. Usually, a person just calls in sick with a tried-and-true excuse along the lines of “something I ate last night isn’t agreeing with me” or “I woke up with a migraine.” But some employers who participated in the survey reported that they received entirely different excuses from employees:

Employee’s false teeth flew out the window while driving down the highway
Employee’s favorite football team lost on Sunday so needed Monday to recover
Employee was quitting smoking and was grouchy
Employee said that someone glued her doors and windows shut so she couldn’t leave the house to come to work
Employee bit her tongue and couldn’t talk
Employee claimed a swarm of bees surrounded his vehicle and he couldn’t make it in
Employee said the chemical in turkey made him fall asleep and he missed his shift
Employee felt like he was so angry he was going to hurt someone if he came in
Employee received a threatening phone call from the electric company and needed to report it to the FBI
Employee needed to finish Christmas shopping
Employee’s fake eye was falling out of its socket
Employee got lost and ended up in another state
Employee couldn’t decide what to wear

An employee where I used to work (not my employee but a fellow manager's employee) made the argument they could never be on time to work due to IBS. Once it was suggested they get a doctors note showing they were tested and diagnosed for IBS, it was suddenly no longer an issue. SC is a right to work state so technically you can be released for nonsensical crap like that. I find that the more elaborate the excuse, the less likely it's valid.


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So, the employee with IBS was full of crap?!

Exactly!








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I once couldn't attend a meeting because the police had my hotel surrounded due to a major robbery in the area and they wouldn't let me out of the building!

True story. Pass it along to a lame employee for future use.

My Dog ate my car keys

Fob in your dog's tummy? Now your dog is the world's biggest key chain!

Exactly! Morning sickness gone south.

I have actually misplaced my glasses and could not find them never mind drive. Ever since I got Lasik I need to come up with another excuse.

No excuse, just have to bring the dog with you to work!

I have 3 dogs! not sure which one was the culprit, so should I bring all of them to the office? lol

I was abducted by aliens.

Perfect excuse to bring your dog to work!

Someone brought their sick grandma to work to show "proof" he had to take care of her. He was on the verge of termination. Desperate measures taken for self preservation.

I've never had to call in to get out of work
If I'm sick I work from home, if I need to go do something I bring my laptop/phone with me and work @ wherever
If I don't feel like working I send an email out to the team that I'll be OOO for the day

Just stick each of them in the Z and see which one lets you start it :D