The customer is not always right
 

Thank You For Calling Planet Of The Apes
Technical Support | Columbus, OH, USA

Me: “Thank you for calling tech support. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: “Hello?”

Customer: “Hello?”

Me: “Hello?”

Customer: “Hey Jon, check this out! The machine says hello back when I say hello!”

Me: “I’m not a machine, sir.”

Customer: “OH MY GOD, IT’S ADDRESSING ME!”

Me: “No, sir, I’m not a machine!”

Customer: “Oh… so you’re one of them human peoples?”

Me: “Yes, sir, I am a human peoples.”

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An Inconvenient Convenience
Bank | Cape Cod, MA, USA

Me: “Thank you for calling [bank], how may I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I just got my statement in the mail and it says at the bottom to call this number for questions?”

Me: “Yes, that’s right.”

(A long pause follows.)

Customer: “OK, so…what are the questions?”

Me: “No ma’am, that’s in case you had any questions about your statement that you wanted to ask us.”

Customer: “Oh OK, good. Because I really don’t have the time to be answering your questions.”

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I’ll Go Where He’s Going
Travel Agents | London, UK

Me: “Thank you for calling [travel agency]. Which brochure would you like to order?”

Customer: “I’d like to order ten virgins, please.”

Me: “Pardon me?”

Customer: “Ten virgins, please–”

(There’s a moment of silence; the customer and I both realize at the same time that he meant to say ‘ten Virgin Holiday Brochures’. To keep the conversation from going awkward, I chime in.)

Me: “How fresh would you like your virgins, sir?”

Customer: “This year’s editions will be fine, thanks!”



Not Always Right | Funny & Stupid Customer Quotes

Working at AT&T I get stupid customers all the time. Just a couple days ago, we had one that wouldn't leave the store unless something was done about the Microwaves that all of our cell towers and cell phones make. She says she was going to go Erin Brokovitch on us

best question i got from a customer when i was working part time in high school

Customer: whats in a strawberry banana shake?

Me: *stare* uh strawberries and bananas

It hurts to know that there are people this stupid.

I feel the need to share this one. A few years ago I worked at a sports store. I asked a customer for his zip code and his direct quote was, I live on a farm do they have zip codes? Now I have always given this man the benefit of the doubt and believe he was messing with me, to which I give him credit. But if he wasn't :shakes head:

I've met people from farms. He may not have been kidding.

Got one for you....

Every Friday here on Parris Island (Marine Base) I have to go out and set up 200 f-c-ing chairs for all these little recruits family members so they can watch the flag raising. 150 of these chairs don't have arms on them and the other 50 do. First off, why do I have to set up 200 chairs for a ceremoney that requires you to be standing anyway?!? Ok, moving on, every Friday, the chairs with arms are reserved for VIPs and what not. The others are for the general public. I have to go out there and constantly tell people to get out of the VIP chairs.

1. If you saw 200 chairs sitting there and 50 of them were completely different and set off on the side, would you think that was a good place to sit or would you notice the difference and not sit there?

2. If you just saw me tell people not to sit there, would you A. stay sitting in your seats or B. go over and sit in those seats? I think NOT

It's small but damn it pisses me off!!

i act just like that when a telemarketer calls......

1. I'd think it was a good place to sit and go there. I love chair arms.

2. B

same

1. I'd think it was a good place to sit and go there. I love chair arms.

2. B

yea, im 3rd on that...i hate not having arms on chairs

there's 50....has to be some extras there

I was working at best buy and a customer called asking about a tv stand. She wanted to know if we had one that was roughly 9 inches off the ground. I told her everything we had would be well over a foot tall. She replys "Oh... how many inches are in a foot?"


....I paused and said "excuse me" and she asked it AGAIN!?!?!

I answered the question and she goes "Oh, no thats too tall, bye!"

I thought it was a joke but it wasn't...

I got one.
I have a buddy that works for Charter,and he said they have a customer that warpped the interior walls of there house in tinfoil so the cable comepany couldn't see what the customer(s) were doing in there house through the T.V. He said they would call and complain once a week about them seeing them through the T.V.

:icon18:

well im a personal trainer and the fat people that i train are hilarious. there is this woman in her early 60s and i have her doing bicep curls

old woman: why do my hands hurt?

me: well because what your doing right now is tearing up the muscle tissue in the muscle group called bicep and your biceps are located on your arm. ( i point to them)

next exercise i have her work on the hamstrings.

old woman: why do my legs hurt

me: well because you are tearing up the muscle tissue in your legs thats why.

its like this with every single exercise and the funny thing is she asks me the same questions everyday and i answer her with the same answers, but the next day she asks the same questions again lol

another one

old woman: why do i get tired when i exercise?

me: because you are exercising

im a nutritionist also so i make them a diet to follow and in the diet it clearly states what their supposed to eat and when and how much.

diet states meal 1

1 cup of special k cereal
1 cup of 2% low fat milk
5 medium strawberries

different old woman: what am i supposed to eat ?

me: i go over the meal plan with them which takes about 2-3 minutes. its very simple and it tells you exactly how much to eat just like stated above.

after explaining it to her for over 20 minutes the old woman replies.

old woman: so what am i supposed to eat exactly?

she *** the same question the next day too lol

its so funny because none of this woman have memory problems or anything like that. their just stupid and annoying, sometimes i get a kick out of it tho