botulism

cut throat pirates

deranged ex-wives who ignore restraining orders

ex g/fs that want to cut off your testicles when you sleep

fat, horny chicks that straddle you and then pass out on top on you after a night of heavy drinking...

gonorrhea

heart disease

insane ex-wife with a pistol and 6 cocktails under her belt

juggling a separated-from-wife from a new love interest and then going back to said (really angry, really pride full) ex after the newbee proves to be somewhat crazy and realizing that the ex is really bitter and that the GF is very jealous and pissed off, even thou i started up the affair again, becoz the ex gave me such grief,
and the GF shows up at my frt. dr. the day before my 7th wed-anny.

i wasn't kilt, butt, upon arrival home from work, the next day, 7th anny---my house was emptied by her dad/uncles, et al...and, ironically, it was the only day i ever brought her flowers home to honor our marriage...

i survived---

kinky places like the ledge of a cliff

losing your footing at the edge of the grand canyon...

making love with Oprah and being completely swallowed up

nearly suffocated f'in' a fatty on top only to die of a heart attack trying to extricate one's self...

octopus attack while skin diving

pumping gas w/a stupid-*** ciggie in your mouth...