Kobe Bryant

be a bicycle cop or a horse cop

Horse Cop fo sho

illiterate or unable to talk

Illiterate I can learn!

Average bi-lingual or exceptionally proficient in one language

Average bilingual.

If you were part of a death sentence, would you like to pull the trigger or pull the switch?

Pull the trigger - during the "Fire Squad" there are 5 guns one of which has a blank and therefore no one knows who get the kill shot!

Live in the North or South pole!

North pole - there is civilization there. Nearest to South is McMurdo. Nearest to North is a couple days' dogsled into Canada.

moped or segway?

Moped.... sitting down ftw. :D

Have a cabin on the lake or a condo in the city center?

Condo

Be stuck shopping with your chick all day *shoots self from current experience* or go to traffic court and end up being the last name called

Shopping with my lady all day (lingerie and fantasy shops ftw).

Speaking of which, dildo or vibrator?

I mean, price being no problem, might as well get the vibrator, yeah? That's at least more of a feature than "lays there". But then again I don't use 'em for their intended purpose. So, it might be fun to have the vibe around just to scare the dog around the room and to offer to houseguests.

Football ('merkin) or Futbol (yurohs)?

Id like to meet somewhere in the middle and go with rugby... if that cant happen futbol

paintball or airsoft

airsoft

cracked windshield or dented bumper

windshield (no painting required)

German chocolate cake or lemon meringue pie?

German Chocolate Cake

Innie or outie (bellybutton)

Innie

Ginger or Maryann