Talk me off the (figurative) ledge
 

Hey all,

I don't generally put personal things on the forum. But it seems that my fellow 370z owners are the majority of my socialization during the work week.

Disclaimer: If you don't care about emotions please ignore this post.

anxiety and depression are ruling my life and pills don't always work

Have a shrink, have a buncha pills every day... and i'm still haunted by this monster that no one can see or hear. No it's not a person i'm seeing, it's a metaphor for the constantly prevalent emotional stress I endure.

Any bits of hope or encouragement are appreciated. :shakes head:

wat's the trigger for your anxiety? maybe find ways to get rid of that? (i dont mean to eliminate people off the grid btw! :eekdance:)

Top ideas that came up without thinking much...

Anxiety triggers include most social engagements.
- social anxiety

Doesn't feel good to leave my house no matter where i'm going.
- lil agoraphobia

And to top it off, i have zero self esteem.
- So i don't take compliments well and think very poorly about myself.

But i'm looking at ways to avoid triggers, but i can't avoid life / triggers entirely.

Thank you for your thoughts kenchan, it means a lot to me.
~ Sean

np. btw, there's no law that you must be social to everyone or have to be in public places. u can live a quiet personal life away from all the crowds and all the hype.

i personally hate social events too. i am not a shy person by any means, but i just dont like dealing with people if i dont have to. tired of all the bs they bring. im very vocal at work, but outside work and family, i dont really talk much beside some chitchat with my neighbors or people walking their dogs or something.

i think best might be to watch cnn or your local news and have general topics to talk about in your head if someone wants to chat. start off with weather, then maybe some news u saw, sports.. just have something ready to chat about so you're prepared. then that preparation might bring you confidence.

I understand about social anxiety and sometimes I avoid the masses myself. DO you like physical activity? Perhaps a quick run or a brisk walk to your favorite part of town/park can alleviate some anxiety. When I am anxious I tend to pace, it helps me a lot. Just my 2 cents.

hop in that sexy *** z of yours and take a drive around town with the windows down

That's cute and all... but these are actual issues, not a bad hair day.

I'd be a lot more clever about my responses if i cared more.

rooftop had many of those same issues. I gave him some of my time and advice, now he travels the world with a smile.

your condition is just in your head. take control of it and own it.

social anxiety is typically just a lack of confidence, that produces failure, which then produces low self-esteem. all of which you said is going on.

like someone else said above....go get in you Z, have yourself a nice long drive, clear you head, then go get laid. nothing builds you back up like busting a nut my friend.

IMO you need a different shrink. I would advise you to seek out someone competent in cognitive-behavioral therapy.

You may have to ask some tough questions to find one who is truly competent rather than blowing smoke. Do as much research as you can rather than picking someone out of the Yellow Pages.

Good luck.

What he said. :driving::iagree:

When you look good, you feel good. So my advice is get jacked. Join a hardcore gym in your area and get involved in the classes they offer. Whether it is mma, crossfit, powerlifting, or whatever your interest lies. Just get out there and get fit, it's a sure way to rebuilding your confidence in yourself.

I sent you a PM

This is absolutely great advice. I need more "out of house" activities AND to build confidence.



Replied too. Ur a good guy. :hello:

hang in there, you can do it. small steps.

There is quite a bit of evidence to support the physical activity suggestions. Something to do with endorphins, IIRC.

Keeping your mind busy may help. Find a hobby, chat with friends, whatever it takes to get your head out of that dark place.

I second finding a hobby. Idle hands and all that.

Maximize the things you enjoy, minimize the things and people in your life that you don't, and take things one day at a time.

Engage in a new activities. Things that you've never thought you'd enjoy may surprise you. Our tastes change over time and the things we once enjoyed may no longer bring about that emotions we expect. And often times we stick with what we know, which leads to that feeling of being trapped; doing things we no longer enjoy, whether out of habit or fear of change. It's important to re-evaluate what's doing it for you every once in a while.

The shrink will prescribe meds. They are the the best ones to talk to or work with to help your talk and work through your problems. You want a Psychologist along with a Psychiatrist. Finding out exactly what the trigger is and then working to "normalizing" it is big. Self esteem is another big factor. It allows you to be more open and in turn allows more opportunities for people to open up to you. You already did the first and one of the most important steps, admitting you have the problem and seeking out a way to rid of it. Kudos to you. I deal with people with problems and emotional distress all the time at work (I'm a ICU RN. We the the ones that are dieing and are not ready. We get the ones that are hopped out of there mind on drugs and don't or can't make sense of the world. We get the servery depressed that try to commit suicide often enough that the are "request fliers" and many more).

Having a good sense of self like other suggested is a very good start. It might be something something as simple as the thought, "Eat healthy and be healthy" or changing your dress style, to the more extreme of such and a serious diet and hardcore workout with a personal trainer.

YzGyz

I suffer from anxiety too but it's not social anxiety. I suffer from health anxiety and it was triggered when my older brother was diagnosed with a condition that changed (read as ruined) his life when he was 21. This was 17 years ago. Now I have a constant OCD about constantly checking myself and doing "tests" to see if I'm getting this disease too. I can relate because anxiety, no matter what type it is, makes you feel completely trapped and consumes your whole life. Anxiety is a beast and the physical manifestations of prolonged anxiety actually mimick some nasty diseases which make me spiral out of control.

I'm seeing a therapist for my health anxiety (I DO NOT BELIEVE IN MEDS FOR THIS) and she's working on Cognitive Behavior Therapy, which consists of Exposure and Response therapy. I can't vouch for its effectiveness yet as I just started CBT but she confirms, and so has everyone else I talked to, that CBT is THE way to cure anxiety, no matter what kind of anxiety it is. I suggest you look into it. I'm sure it'll help you.

I concur on the gym. I used to be very self conscious before. I took on weight lifting 5 years ago and started powerlifting 2 years ago. I put a lot of time into the gym and it's tough when you work a 9-5 but when you see results (and when OTHERS see results) it's a high like no other. Not only does that give you the confidence but it gives you the motivation to keep lifting harder. I would say that am pretty big built but I put the work in and am self taught. Never had a trainer but always looked up best practices and such online. You'd be surprised how many people "lift" with **** form. Anyway, look into the gym. You will not only increase your confidence but you'll improve your health. Don't forget anxiety can wreak havoc on our health too

I think that one of the best things to take from this thread is that everyone has issues and we dont all handle them the same way. Just know that whatever issues you do have, others have them too, and they have gotten past them, and you can too.

Lot's of us have these issues...
 

You are getting some really good feedback here, and some not. Don't take the 'you don't have a real issue - man up' comment too seriously. I'll tell you this - I have suffered from social and generalized anxiety my whole life. It does shape you but it does not have to destroy you. It also runs down genetic lines.

Here's a picture for you - since childhood I have moments when normal everyday sounds, lights, situations and voices sound angry and intense and dangerous. Kind words from a close friend or family member may sound like criticisms and attacks. A green car may seem like it's mocking me. Windy days make me on-edge. It can drive you crazy.

I have always know these were distorted perceptions and learned as a young child to watch what was happening with my crazy head. If I didn't who knows what could have happened.

For anyone not getting this - imagine, if you can, being in a situation where a lethal fight is just breaking out next to you, weapons and ager are drawn, something terrible is going to happen, and you have no control to stop it. And you can't get away or ask for help.

Now realize that is happening merely because the hum of the refrigerator or someone snapping their fingers to music in the next room. That's all that is real. For some, including my daughter and myself, we now call those trigger issues misophonia and we share it. Others, like us, also fit more of an unspecific 'generalized' or running anxiety almost all the time. It's overwhelming and it sucks.

As compensation we may become (with learned adaptations) more normal - clearly expressive at work and play, but probably lead a life of social avoidance, compensating for anxiety in social situations by avoiding them altogether. We favor activities and sports that are singular and individual like (for me) programming, writing, flying, driving, diving, etc. Social activities that really involve others are not high on our favorites list. We try - it's hard. We learn to avoid them and can be labeled a-social, anti-social or aloof.

Medication and counseling may help us. The only way to find out is to embark on some therapies with psychologists, psychiatrists, and other counselors. This is nothing to be afraid of. Introspection, meditation and 'finding yourself' can help accept what you are and make you stronger.

Realistically I think that this is all a spectrum of living and there are more of us experiencing something akin. For me - thanks god - I found some ways to cope.

Many famous and genius people have these issues - it's common. Robin Williams, Einstein, etc. Be strong and keep on truckin'

:iagree:

I like the simple approach.

The overwhelming response of people who genuinely care has really given a lil hope.

I'm thankful
I'm appreciative

I just need a lil more boost than others to be happy some days.

:tiphat:

Oh, and it's early... i'll respond with more clarity as i wake up. :)

Count your blessings - literally. Sit down and count the things that have made your life, despite the depression/anxiety, a lot better than that of most people in the world. Helps me out when I'm feeling down.