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Check your knock sensors..

Time to look into the lemon law.

Have you tried the MAP sensor, which is bolted to your upper intake manifold? Also check the ABS sensor, which is also a pressure sensor like MAP. Also check brake booster.

I replaced the MAP sensor after years of sluggish acceleration issues, and it's awesome.

A video is worth a zillion words.

I suggest investing in a GoPro or something, record the exact scenario, making a clear demonstration you are flooring the gas and the car wouldn't accelerate past the speed. Also evidence of time and date when video is taken.

Do it before your warranty is out.

Lemon.

Not sure if Lemon Law would apply but I'd do some research into it.

Post the DTCs that have been thrown (should be on repair ticket) and maybe someone can point you in the right direction.

Get one of the OBD monitors/recorders and look at the variables that have been mentioned above.

I swear...dealerships are like trained to say that, right?

Can't really add anything on top of what was already suggested above, but sorry to hear about your hassles. I'm a bit of an advocate for specialists (if you have any in the area) over a dealer.

The MAF was unplugged? :icon08:

You're going to have a lot more issues than hesitation at 80 mph if that was the case. Sounds like you are going to a very incompetent dealer. Maybe try another one if that's an option.

Beat me to it. Time to let someone else have a crack at it.